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addy_lilpeeplover13Poems
They laugh, throw the words around like they don’t weigh anything, like they’re just jokes, just something to say to get a reaction— “bang,” finger guns, smirks, laughter— and I just stand there because I don’t hear a joke, I hear that night. You think it’s funny because it’s not real to you, because it’s something you’ve only seen on a screen or heard about for a second before moving on, but I didn’t move on, I lived it, I’m still living it. I know what it sounds like when everything changes, I know what it feels like to drop to the ground and not understand why everything suddenly feels wrong, I know what it’s like to hold someone and beg them to stay like your voice could keep them here. So when you laugh, I don’t, because for me it’s not a punchline, it’s a memory I can’t turn off. It’s his hand in mine, my voice shaking, refusing to let go even when they told me I had to, being pulled away while still reaching back like I could undo it if I just tried harder. You say it like it’s nothing, like it doesn’t mean anything, but it meant everything to me, it took everything from me. You don’t see the after, the quiet, the way names hit different, the way certain sounds make your chest tighten, the way I pretend I’m okay when people joke about it because explaining it would ruin the moment. You don’t see how it stays, how it follows me into random days, into silence, into moments that should feel normal but don’t anymore. So no, it’s not funny, not to me, not when I’ve lived through the part you joke about, not when I still carry it every single day. You laugh because you can— I don’t because I remember. 🤍
0
May 2
May 2, 2026 at 7:34 PM UTC
Its Not Funny
They laugh, throw the words around like they don’t weigh anything, like they’re just jokes, just something to say to get a reaction— “bang,” finger guns, smirks, laughter— and I just stand there because I don’t hear a joke, I hear that night. You think it’s funny because it’s not real to you, because it’s something you’ve only seen on a screen or heard about for a second before moving on, but I didn’t move on, I lived it, I’m still living it. I know what it sounds like when everything changes, I know what it feels like to drop to the ground and not understand why everything suddenly feels wrong, I know what it’s like to hold someone and beg them to stay like your voice could keep them here. So when you laugh, I don’t, because for me it’s not a punchline, it’s a memory I can’t turn off. It’s his hand in mine, my voice shaking, refusing to let go even when they told me I had to, being pulled away while still reaching back like I could undo it if I just tried harder. You say it like it’s nothing, like it doesn’t mean anything, but it meant everything to me, it took everything from me. You don’t see the after, the quiet, the way names hit different, the way certain sounds make your chest tighten, the way I pretend I’m okay when people joke about it because explaining it would ruin the moment. You don’t see how it stays, how it follows me into random days, into silence, into moments that should feel normal but don’t anymore. So no, it’s not funny, not to me, not when I’ve lived through the part you joke about, not when I still carry it every single day. You laugh because you can— I don’t because I remember. 🤍
addy_lilpeeplover13
Written by
addy_lilpeeplover13
15/F/wv
May 2
May 2, 2026 at 7:34 PM UTC
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