well, I'm back here again
doubting the very map of my skin
searching for the broken terrain
that you see so clearly within
i know i have valleys and mountains
the same as other lovers
but my heart quakes and tears
when you hate what you discover
i can feel the splitting of the fault
as rejection grinds my love to halt
ripping through my muscled earth
to leave a gaping chasm of hurt
the darkness consumes
where once sunshine flushed
my map transformed
the landscape torn
by my own fixation
on human touch
i try to redesign
to alter my flawed countryside
to mend the gap
that utterly attacked
the regions
of my heart and mind
but my map cannot be
defined by your words
your approval or attention
my topography must be my own
from every land to every ocean
for the sun does not truly fade
when scratches appear on my surface
and i will bear my design with
pride
because every detail,
every river,
every stone,
every piece that makes this
heart my home,
has a beautiful
and unbreakable
purpose
Jul 9, 2019
Jul 9, 2019 at 10:18 PM UTC
well, I'm back here again
doubting the very map of my skin
searching for the broken terrain
that you see so clearly within
i know i have valleys and mountains
the same as other lovers
but my heart quakes and tears
when you hate what you discover
i can feel the splitting of the fault
as rejection grinds my love to halt
ripping through my muscled earth
to leave a gaping chasm of hurt
the darkness consumes
where once sunshine flushed
my map transformed
the landscape torn
by my own fixation
on human touch
i try to redesign
to alter my flawed countryside
to mend the gap
that utterly attacked
the regions
of my heart and mind
but my map cannot be
defined by your words
your approval or attention
my topography must be my own
from every land to every ocean
for the sun does not truly fade
when scratches appear on my surface
and i will bear my design with
pride
because every detail,
every river,
every stone,
every piece that makes this
heart my home,
has a beautiful
and unbreakable
purpose
the heartbreaking obsession with approval & the peace that comes from loving your brokenness despite -- a love letter to the type 3 enneagram
