3.18.18
I’ll never know
how many times you thought about calling
before I told you to go the f-ck away
(I don’t want to know).
I’ll never know why I put up with
your ******** excuses,
shaking from panic attacks and suffocating
and passing it off as love.
I’ll never understand myself, because
I always said I’d be the strong one, but when it came down to it
I caved so easily –
you beat me
because I didn’t see you coming,
blindsided
by ignorance.
For six months, I gave myself to you
coming back for more before my wounds had the chance to heal.
For six months
you possessed me
and I felt like dying.
Six months
learning how to break –
how long
re-learning how to love?
Mar 18, 2018
Mar 18, 2018 at 5:23 PM UTC
3.18.18
I’ll never know
how many times you thought about calling
before I told you to go the f-ck away
(I don’t want to know).
I’ll never know why I put up with
your ******** excuses,
shaking from panic attacks and suffocating
and passing it off as love.
I’ll never understand myself, because
I always said I’d be the strong one, but when it came down to it
I caved so easily –
you beat me
because I didn’t see you coming,
blindsided
by ignorance.
For six months, I gave myself to you
coming back for more before my wounds had the chance to heal.
For six months
you possessed me
and I felt like dying.
Six months
learning how to break –
how long
re-learning how to love?