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When common sense prevails And Whitehall gets demolished Once politics has died a death When voting is abolished The world can then recover From an era of attrition But mindful of the wandering Redundant politician For safeguarding the public And ensuring that our nation Is free from slimy bureaucrats With dodgy legislation Is vital for survival So we’d better reemploy them And here are some suggestions As to how we might enjoy them They could bungee jump volcanoes For the National Geographic Or lie down in a busy road To calm the morning traffic We could shave their glossy hair off And turn it into wigs Then pulverise the rest of them For feeding to the pigs If you’ve just made a coffee And spilt a little drop Then grab one by the ankles And Presto! It’s a mop Just roll one over nettles If ever you’re impeded And stand them on the riverbed If stepping stones are needed They’re great for hanging coats on And extinguishing cigars They’re useful safety dummies For testing foreign cars If hollowed out and quilted They make a fetching scarf And quite the conversation piece If pickled, cut in half The list is almost endless And I’ve mentioned fairly few There’s a myriad of ****** jobs To find for them to do But first they should be rounded up A vessel must be chartered To send them to the front line Of the wars they ****** started
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Sep 14, 2019
Sep 14, 2019 at 5:09 PM UTC
Surplus Politicians
When common sense prevails And Whitehall gets demolished Once politics has died a death When voting is abolished The world can then recover From an era of attrition But mindful of the wandering Redundant politician For safeguarding the public And ensuring that our nation Is free from slimy bureaucrats With dodgy legislation Is vital for survival So we’d better reemploy them And here are some suggestions As to how we might enjoy them They could bungee jump volcanoes For the National Geographic Or lie down in a busy road To calm the morning traffic We could shave their glossy hair off And turn it into wigs Then pulverise the rest of them For feeding to the pigs If you’ve just made a coffee And spilt a little drop Then grab one by the ankles And Presto! It’s a mop Just roll one over nettles If ever you’re impeded And stand them on the riverbed If stepping stones are needed They’re great for hanging coats on And extinguishing cigars They’re useful safety dummies For testing foreign cars If hollowed out and quilted They make a fetching scarf And quite the conversation piece If pickled, cut in half The list is almost endless And I’ve mentioned fairly few There’s a myriad of ****** jobs To find for them to do But first they should be rounded up A vessel must be chartered To send them to the front line Of the wars they ****** started
ben-jones
Written by
English
Sep 14, 2019
Sep 14, 2019 at 5:09 PM UTC
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