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Been up praying to a god i don't even believe in, But talking is healing guess that's the power of someone listening. So as I sit begging and pleading, Trying to negotiate. Let me see a sign or take me home to them gates... I ramble on about the past, Asking for protection over those I have no longer to hold. reassurance in the late hours, Where i'm loosing the fight... Am I going out of my mind asking heaven as they see all. Day's keep coming... I want to start running, But curl up into nothing. I am done searching for understanding, **** communication. Healing or i'm leaving, Be no trace... No one to blame or shame. Can all learn what it feels like to sit with, Self hate!!!!
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Apr 18
Apr 18, 2026 at 8:25 AM UTC
Self hate in the middle of life's debate...
Been up praying to a god i don't even believe in, But talking is healing guess that's the power of someone listening. So as I sit begging and pleading, Trying to negotiate. Let me see a sign or take me home to them gates... I ramble on about the past, Asking for protection over those I have no longer to hold. reassurance in the late hours, Where i'm loosing the fight... Am I going out of my mind asking heaven as they see all. Day's keep coming... I want to start running, But curl up into nothing. I am done searching for understanding, **** communication. Healing or i'm leaving, Be no trace... No one to blame or shame. Can all learn what it feels like to sit with, Self hate!!!!
in feels don't judge harshly ... lost who i am let me beg and fold now **** all i achieved i want to go home to my son where i don't need to seek for love
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Apr 18
Apr 18, 2026 at 8:25 AM UTC
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