you say take a leap
as if I haven’t already
leapt into glass
face-first
on several occasions
and called it “character development”
my mouth also tells the truth
usually by accident
usually when I’m trying to be quiet
it bleeds confession
like it’s proud of the mess
suffering can wait, you say
mine doesn’t —
it schedules recurring appointments
leaves Post-It notes on the fridge
DON’T FORGET: SELF-LOATHING @ 3PM
still
I’ve outgrown despair before
like old skin
like last year’s aesthetic
I evolve compulsively
out of spite
you say thought has antigravitational engines
mine does too
but I’ve replaced the safety protocols
with loud music and intrusive memories
fine.
I’ll feed myself knowledge
even if it tastes like chalk
even if philosophy gives me heartburn
even if truth arrives dressed as humiliation
you say, take a leap into your voice
sure — but understand
my voice doesn’t come out as speech
it comes out as collision
as laugh-crying at 4am
as poetry disguised as deflection
so let the sun come from my mouth?
no
let something stranger
let me exhale neon
static
radio transmissions from the version of me
that survived a different timeline
I will leap
but don’t call it bravery
call it malfunction
call it momentum
call it **** it, why not**
if I become a smile
know this:
it will be lopsided
unsettling
and honest.
Sep 30, 2025
Sep 30, 2025 at 3:24 AM UTC
you say take a leap
as if I haven’t already
leapt into glass
face-first
on several occasions
and called it “character development”
my mouth also tells the truth
usually by accident
usually when I’m trying to be quiet
it bleeds confession
like it’s proud of the mess
suffering can wait, you say
mine doesn’t —
it schedules recurring appointments
leaves Post-It notes on the fridge
DON’T FORGET: SELF-LOATHING @ 3PM
still
I’ve outgrown despair before
like old skin
like last year’s aesthetic
I evolve compulsively
out of spite
you say thought has antigravitational engines
mine does too
but I’ve replaced the safety protocols
with loud music and intrusive memories
fine.
I’ll feed myself knowledge
even if it tastes like chalk
even if philosophy gives me heartburn
even if truth arrives dressed as humiliation
you say, take a leap into your voice
sure — but understand
my voice doesn’t come out as speech
it comes out as collision
as laugh-crying at 4am
as poetry disguised as deflection
so let the sun come from my mouth?
no
let something stranger
let me exhale neon
static
radio transmissions from the version of me
that survived a different timeline
I will leap
but don’t call it bravery
call it malfunction
call it momentum
call it **** it, why not**
if I become a smile
know this:
it will be lopsided
unsettling
and honest.
