I finally organized all my notebooks on my shelf so I might as well write something down
My head is tangled and I cant wait for spring
[“You have hair for two people!” - My barber, Tanya, she’ll be happy to see me]
[I grunt and grumble when I check the time]
I wish I could wrap my face around the end of the world
I want those 15 minutes each day that I get when I cant tell you who I am or was or is or where im going or where ive been
And I just want to take a great big eraser and wipe off my face so ive got nothing to look at until I want to sketch it all back
[My eyes melt down down until I stop them, I swear it feels like this really happens]
And I wish I could paint, this must have been what Picasso felt like when he made “The Blind Man’s Meal”
So I take out that jumbo-sized sketching pad and make a bad self-portrait, its all dark dark lines and circles and pointed things
Look at the faces I can make!
[the earth rumbles]
[BUZZZZZZ]
Its just another “after careful consideration…”
I feel like my body needs to be steamrolled in every direction
[I am stretched now, canvas, the longest ive ever been]
All of my apartment windows are open
Soon-to-be-snowing air kisses my toes and under my soles
And I think about the Market at 7 a.m., just being excited to see it all happening with my own eyes, even half asleep, from the corner window on Pike Street
[I’ve always been a fool for an early morning so maybe today is my body’s way of making it up to me, “here’s a little something…”]
We all know that memory has a sneaky way of flashing its teeth
I think about turning the TV on but I dont want to look up yet
Man, my nose is itchy, doesn’t that mean something to some people?
[I then have the thought that I’ll get myself new bedding for spring]
And I know I always say it but I mean it
Youve got to be crazy in life about at least a few things
I lean back now, what’s left of my face aimed to the sky
Where does the world go from here?
[The Sun doesn’t respond]
I am contorted in my towel, wrapped in front of the window
I am not who I was before but I am unchanged
Not yet who I am tomorrow
[I clear my throat twice to make sure my voice still rumbles the same]
I wonder if this will destroy me
I summon it, be gentle
Because Im still just a kid in that way I think
But I feel like Im just dancing at the hand of my own strings
Just please dont let me think about things too much today
It only feels good to stare at it with my eyes closed
And Im scared of forgetting things
But I finally found that little piece I wrote back in Big Sur:
“It’s 4 a.m. in Monterey, the only ones awake are me and the Seagulls. I wonder what special kind of good creature you had to be in a past life to end up here and now as a seagull on the Carmel Coast, tomorrow always so far away.”
Then I wonder what it must be like to feel the future
[Realize what we all are and remember what you can be!]
Feb 16
Feb 16, 2026 at 7:51 PM UTC
I finally organized all my notebooks on my shelf so I might as well write something down
My head is tangled and I cant wait for spring
[“You have hair for two people!” - My barber, Tanya, she’ll be happy to see me]
[I grunt and grumble when I check the time]
I wish I could wrap my face around the end of the world
I want those 15 minutes each day that I get when I cant tell you who I am or was or is or where im going or where ive been
And I just want to take a great big eraser and wipe off my face so ive got nothing to look at until I want to sketch it all back
[My eyes melt down down until I stop them, I swear it feels like this really happens]
And I wish I could paint, this must have been what Picasso felt like when he made “The Blind Man’s Meal”
So I take out that jumbo-sized sketching pad and make a bad self-portrait, its all dark dark lines and circles and pointed things
Look at the faces I can make!
[the earth rumbles]
[BUZZZZZZ]
Its just another “after careful consideration…”
I feel like my body needs to be steamrolled in every direction
[I am stretched now, canvas, the longest ive ever been]
All of my apartment windows are open
Soon-to-be-snowing air kisses my toes and under my soles
And I think about the Market at 7 a.m., just being excited to see it all happening with my own eyes, even half asleep, from the corner window on Pike Street
[I’ve always been a fool for an early morning so maybe today is my body’s way of making it up to me, “here’s a little something…”]
We all know that memory has a sneaky way of flashing its teeth
I think about turning the TV on but I dont want to look up yet
Man, my nose is itchy, doesn’t that mean something to some people?
[I then have the thought that I’ll get myself new bedding for spring]
And I know I always say it but I mean it
Youve got to be crazy in life about at least a few things
I lean back now, what’s left of my face aimed to the sky
Where does the world go from here?
[The Sun doesn’t respond]
I am contorted in my towel, wrapped in front of the window
I am not who I was before but I am unchanged
Not yet who I am tomorrow
[I clear my throat twice to make sure my voice still rumbles the same]
I wonder if this will destroy me
I summon it, be gentle
Because Im still just a kid in that way I think
But I feel like Im just dancing at the hand of my own strings
Just please dont let me think about things too much today
It only feels good to stare at it with my eyes closed
And Im scared of forgetting things
But I finally found that little piece I wrote back in Big Sur:
“It’s 4 a.m. in Monterey, the only ones awake are me and the Seagulls. I wonder what special kind of good creature you had to be in a past life to end up here and now as a seagull on the Carmel Coast, tomorrow always so far away.”
Then I wonder what it must be like to feel the future
[Realize what we all are and remember what you can be!]
