I want to love you,
but the world has written us in red.
Our banners clash, our names are curses,
yet when I see you, the storm inside me stills.
I love you,
not in secret, but in silence.
Each breath I take feels borrowed,
each thought of you a sin I gladly repeat.
But I can’t love you.
Not when every heartbeat sounds like treason,
not when your sword bears your kingdom’s crest
and mine drips with your father’s blood.
I wish you’d know that,
that every time our blades met,
I wasn’t trying to win,
I was trying to stay near you a moment longer.
I wish you’d love me,
not as a soldier, not as an enemy,
but as the fool who knelt before you
long before the battle ever began.
I wish there was no war,
no crowns, no gods, no orders to obey,
only you and me
and the soft peace I never found.
I wish you weren’t my enemy.
Because when your blade pierces through my chest,
I don’t fight back. I don’t move.
I only whisper, I wish I could be with you.
And as the light fades,
you don’t see my smile through the blood.
But it’s there, faint and real,
because dying by your hand
was the closest I’d ever come to holding you.
–S. Yusuf
Nov 7, 2025
Nov 7, 2025 at 10:20 AM UTC
I want to love you,
but the world has written us in red.
Our banners clash, our names are curses,
yet when I see you, the storm inside me stills.
I love you,
not in secret, but in silence.
Each breath I take feels borrowed,
each thought of you a sin I gladly repeat.
But I can’t love you.
Not when every heartbeat sounds like treason,
not when your sword bears your kingdom’s crest
and mine drips with your father’s blood.
I wish you’d know that,
that every time our blades met,
I wasn’t trying to win,
I was trying to stay near you a moment longer.
I wish you’d love me,
not as a soldier, not as an enemy,
but as the fool who knelt before you
long before the battle ever began.
I wish there was no war,
no crowns, no gods, no orders to obey,
only you and me
and the soft peace I never found.
I wish you weren’t my enemy.
Because when your blade pierces through my chest,
I don’t fight back. I don’t move.
I only whisper, I wish I could be with you.
And as the light fades,
you don’t see my smile through the blood.
But it’s there, faint and real,
because dying by your hand
was the closest I’d ever come to holding you.
–S. Yusuf
