one:
We're standing in the school
i had to get my coat after the day ended
you walked me to my locker
and watch me open the lock
failing the first time, succeeding the second
you say, "why do you do that?"
i say, "what, open it?" referring to the lock
you say, "no, that." referring to my wrist
i sigh,
you say, "i just thought you were better than that."
i sigh again, and say, "well i'm clean so."
lying through my teeth.
two:
i'm at youth group that same day
i'm not a christian
but i go there anyway
a youth leader snaps my bracelet
against my wrist
i smile
not understanding
later, she stops me in the hallway asking,
"do you wanna talk about it?"
i say, "what?"
she says, "do you wanna talk about it?"
i say, "oh."
she says, "i get if you don't,
just know i'm here.
i've been there, done that,
so know i'm always here."
i don't say a word
three:
i'm sitting on the couch, the day after
i put on the second star wars movie,
the first ad begins to play
my mother walks in the room, says,
"someone told me they saw marks on your wrist."
i pause the ad, 13 seconds in.
"can i see?"
i shake no
"why did you start again?"
i shrug i don't know
"i need what you're using."
i've planned this
i go and find my dullest blade
give it to her with ease
knowing i have five others.
Mar 20
Mar 20, 2026 at 10:42 PM UTC
one:
We're standing in the school
i had to get my coat after the day ended
you walked me to my locker
and watch me open the lock
failing the first time, succeeding the second
you say, "why do you do that?"
i say, "what, open it?" referring to the lock
you say, "no, that." referring to my wrist
i sigh,
you say, "i just thought you were better than that."
i sigh again, and say, "well i'm clean so."
lying through my teeth.
two:
i'm at youth group that same day
i'm not a christian
but i go there anyway
a youth leader snaps my bracelet
against my wrist
i smile
not understanding
later, she stops me in the hallway asking,
"do you wanna talk about it?"
i say, "what?"
she says, "do you wanna talk about it?"
i say, "oh."
she says, "i get if you don't,
just know i'm here.
i've been there, done that,
so know i'm always here."
i don't say a word
three:
i'm sitting on the couch, the day after
i put on the second star wars movie,
the first ad begins to play
my mother walks in the room, says,
"someone told me they saw marks on your wrist."
i pause the ad, 13 seconds in.
"can i see?"
i shake no
"why did you start again?"
i shrug i don't know
"i need what you're using."
i've planned this
i go and find my dullest blade
give it to her with ease
knowing i have five others.
wrote this a while ago about one of my worst weeks ever bunch of people talked to me about cutting and it was just so ******* tiring.
