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I am sorry for ways I've treated you bad It was myself Not you Making me mad Over my rage have no control You suffer unfairly for the darkness in my soul I do not mean to take out my insecurity On anyone else It can be too much for me Sometimes I am bothered to the point where I snap In black and blues paint on my thighs a detailed map So everyone sees how I got to where I am Somewhere between point A and point B stopped giving a **** On my flesh insanity artistically explained Story written myself not in shades of ink But pain Come closer so maybe you read and undestand My efforts did not work out as planned I do not have what it takes to improve Instead of striving I hardly move Trying to make your problems less difficult than they are Another layer to the puzzle already too hard I do my best Hold my tongue instead of cuss and yell No words could convey why  being with you is hell I do not get my irrational emotions either I try to calm myself You won't let me take a breather Because you are convinced I will do my health harm Do it for me accidentally with restraining arms I vainly attempt to maintain my composure You start flinching and it's all over If you say I am crazy Crazy is what you'll get How you speak about me makes me upset When I work my *** off Be perfect and chill Make me out to be a psychopath still Your idea of me clearly set in stone You only are with me because you fear being alone I am writing my thoughts as if it will matter You won't read between lines scattered It is easier for you to act as if it's all in my head I have no reason to ache and should be satisfied instead You may be right about mental state and such I only flip out because I care way too much You cannot create more passion than you actually feel Quit deceiving both of us and for once be REAL Your love for me the only thing of which I have no doubt It is all the other ******** I am unsure about If I am your best friend won't you confide? Closeness we used to share must have died Or maybe made that part up as well So confused at this point can no longer tell To avoid your displeasure try to be tough It literally kills me knowing I'll never be enough Do not ask me why I'm sniffling from now on There exists no right answer because each is wrong I am the reason behind everlasting pain It really doesn't make sense to complain I just wish knew why you manipulate and lie Say you just want my happiness then do things that make me cry Be honest I don't supply what you need Don't expect commitment if you can't return the deed I am losing my mind You're slipping away If you know what is good for you you won't bother to stay
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Dec 24, 2019
Dec 24, 2019 at 5:11 AM UTC
Every Last Piece (Part Two)
I am sorry for ways I've treated you bad It was myself Not you Making me mad Over my rage have no control You suffer unfairly for the darkness in my soul I do not mean to take out my insecurity On anyone else It can be too much for me Sometimes I am bothered to the point where I snap In black and blues paint on my thighs a detailed map So everyone sees how I got to where I am Somewhere between point A and point B stopped giving a **** On my flesh insanity artistically explained Story written myself not in shades of ink But pain Come closer so maybe you read and undestand My efforts did not work out as planned I do not have what it takes to improve Instead of striving I hardly move Trying to make your problems less difficult than they are Another layer to the puzzle already too hard I do my best Hold my tongue instead of cuss and yell No words could convey why  being with you is hell I do not get my irrational emotions either I try to calm myself You won't let me take a breather Because you are convinced I will do my health harm Do it for me accidentally with restraining arms I vainly attempt to maintain my composure You start flinching and it's all over If you say I am crazy Crazy is what you'll get How you speak about me makes me upset When I work my *** off Be perfect and chill Make me out to be a psychopath still Your idea of me clearly set in stone You only are with me because you fear being alone I am writing my thoughts as if it will matter You won't read between lines scattered It is easier for you to act as if it's all in my head I have no reason to ache and should be satisfied instead You may be right about mental state and such I only flip out because I care way too much You cannot create more passion than you actually feel Quit deceiving both of us and for once be REAL Your love for me the only thing of which I have no doubt It is all the other ******** I am unsure about If I am your best friend won't you confide? Closeness we used to share must have died Or maybe made that part up as well So confused at this point can no longer tell To avoid your displeasure try to be tough It literally kills me knowing I'll never be enough Do not ask me why I'm sniffling from now on There exists no right answer because each is wrong I am the reason behind everlasting pain It really doesn't make sense to complain I just wish knew why you manipulate and lie Say you just want my happiness then do things that make me cry Be honest I don't supply what you need Don't expect commitment if you can't return the deed I am losing my mind You're slipping away If you know what is good for you you won't bother to stay
A three page poem i wrote to my best friend and lover
AmandaKayBurke
Written by
30/F/Alaska
Dec 24, 2019
Dec 24, 2019 at 5:11 AM UTC
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