At 9:15 this morning
you hurt your brother and lied about it.
*It was an accident!
He did it himself!*
Every variation casting up a veil between us.
The victim, too young to lie,
brokenly identifies his tormentor
and I am speechless at the act
and the denial
But I remember.
I remember the impulse too well -
preserve yourself!
No-one saw, they can't be sure you did it.
The theatrical collapse into self pitying insistence.
I remember how easily
I could convince myself of my innocence
and the hopelessness of others' incredulity.
Ah, ugly times.
So I understand, but it still hurts.
Not because I can't trust you now.
Not because it seems like a moment ago
that you, like your victim,
had no inclination to deceive.
Not even because you must take me for a fool
to try it.
It hurts
because in the midst of the forest of wishes I have for you
one wish quietly crumbles:
the wish
that you
will be better than me.
May 1, 2011
May 1, 2011 at 1:10 AM UTC
At 9:15 this morning
you hurt your brother and lied about it.
*It was an accident!
He did it himself!*
Every variation casting up a veil between us.
The victim, too young to lie,
brokenly identifies his tormentor
and I am speechless at the act
and the denial
But I remember.
I remember the impulse too well -
preserve yourself!
No-one saw, they can't be sure you did it.
The theatrical collapse into self pitying insistence.
I remember how easily
I could convince myself of my innocence
and the hopelessness of others' incredulity.
Ah, ugly times.
So I understand, but it still hurts.
Not because I can't trust you now.
Not because it seems like a moment ago
that you, like your victim,
had no inclination to deceive.
Not even because you must take me for a fool
to try it.
It hurts
because in the midst of the forest of wishes I have for you
one wish quietly crumbles:
the wish
that you
will be better than me.
- From Also Available Free
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