I'm sleeping, dreaming, suffering sensory deprivation
Inhibited, relaxed, circadian rhythms coursing through
REM, renewing cells, awaiting the terror of the night.
I wake, here you come, slowly, announcing your presence
Until you stand over me
I cannot move, immobile
I cannot scream, mute
I cannot fight, struggle or defend
I feel you, looming above me
Thrashing will only alert you to my knowing of you
I calm my breathing, relax my posture, think of the coming sun
Advertising my lie that I know you are here.
You lean forward I smell your foul, fecund hot breath
Your infertile want of me by you, but I want him
You are not him
Slowly, you pull the sheet down
I remain still,knowing that you do not exist
A memory of long ago, of my helplessness
He, is asleep beside me unaware of you
Of your torment night after night
I want him to turn in his sleep
To face me, take me into a lover's knot
Show you my tormentor that you failed
Failed when I was 18, and will fail now I'm 39
But, he sleeps the sleep of the innocent
You keep trying, night after long night
And, I will keep eluding you.
Apr 12, 2014
Apr 12, 2014 at 5:54 PM UTC
I'm sleeping, dreaming, suffering sensory deprivation
Inhibited, relaxed, circadian rhythms coursing through
REM, renewing cells, awaiting the terror of the night.
I wake, here you come, slowly, announcing your presence
Until you stand over me
I cannot move, immobile
I cannot scream, mute
I cannot fight, struggle or defend
I feel you, looming above me
Thrashing will only alert you to my knowing of you
I calm my breathing, relax my posture, think of the coming sun
Advertising my lie that I know you are here.
You lean forward I smell your foul, fecund hot breath
Your infertile want of me by you, but I want him
You are not him
Slowly, you pull the sheet down
I remain still,knowing that you do not exist
A memory of long ago, of my helplessness
He, is asleep beside me unaware of you
Of your torment night after night
I want him to turn in his sleep
To face me, take me into a lover's knot
Show you my tormentor that you failed
Failed when I was 18, and will fail now I'm 39
But, he sleeps the sleep of the innocent
You keep trying, night after long night
And, I will keep eluding you.
Request permission to use this poem