I miss you like the day you left,
with tears in my eyes,
forming angry rivers of deep seeded sorrow
and jealousy that I wanted to drown in.
We never said I love you,
But we could feel it trembling behind our lips with our last kiss.
Goodbye was painful enough without the dagger of truth
cutting into our chests.
When we found that one way ticket
my heart dropped like a pin in a silent room.
You were stoic like the Mona Lisa,
determined in your lack of discontentment
while I sobbed you away.
The worst of it was in the the future of irresolution.
I would never know if you’d come to love the world
more than me.
I would never know if I wasn’t Home
for you, anymore.
I would never know, if I waited long enough,
steadfast in my domesticated loyalty.
I’d sit, like an old dog, on your tacky foyer welcome rug,
waiting to tell you that I’ve not forgotten.
And if you never came back here
I’d still miss you like the day you left.
I had to tell myself that it didn’t make sense to count days,
or months, or years, if it came to it,
because even as my Sun rises,
and your Moon also does,
we still think
of that bed
that we’d fall in
and out of.