“I'm sorry...
I push you so hard.
I don’t listen to you.
I hurt you.
I don’t take the time to care for you.
I’m sorry for the fact that I hate you—
I hate the way you look, the little scars, waves,
and lines on you.
Your weak knees and ankles, cracked lips,
hairy arms, and strawberry legs.
The number of my weight and all the little bits
I notice as I glare at you in the mirror and any reflection.
I compare you to everyone else, knowing I’ll never be like them.
But just so you know, it’s not me.
It’s that little bug in my head—
A devil and a witch, hating and scheming,
Casting a dark cloud of hatred and mistreated words that haunt me and fog my thoughts.
There’s a wall blocking any reason or way to self-love.
But I’m an actor with a mask, pretending to love myself so people don’t worry.
I want to be sorry.
I want to forgive.
But I can’t.
It’s too hard with all these thoughts and my messed-up mind.
I am shattered glass.”
5d ago
May 29, 2026 at 7:12 AM UTC
“I'm sorry...
I push you so hard.
I don’t listen to you.
I hurt you.
I don’t take the time to care for you.
I’m sorry for the fact that I hate you—
I hate the way you look, the little scars, waves,
and lines on you.
Your weak knees and ankles, cracked lips,
hairy arms, and strawberry legs.
The number of my weight and all the little bits
I notice as I glare at you in the mirror and any reflection.
I compare you to everyone else, knowing I’ll never be like them.
But just so you know, it’s not me.
It’s that little bug in my head—
A devil and a witch, hating and scheming,
Casting a dark cloud of hatred and mistreated words that haunt me and fog my thoughts.
There’s a wall blocking any reason or way to self-love.
But I’m an actor with a mask, pretending to love myself so people don’t worry.
I want to be sorry.
I want to forgive.
But I can’t.
It’s too hard with all these thoughts and my messed-up mind.
I am shattered glass.”
A letter to myself. This piece follows my relationship with my body and how I feel about it, including all my insecurities.
<3
