The truth is
I don’t feel strong
I feel weak
Dehydrated
Anxious
I woke at 3am covered in sweat
5am again
Got up at 6
Worrying about the day ahead
Tiny things
Simple things
That seem way beyond me
She cannot bear my weakness
I cannot bear her indifference
I watch with envy
Travelers boarding the train
I imagine their successful lives
Whilst denigrating my own
Asking, can I ever ever ever be happy?
I travel to a place I don’t want to go to
But there is no place
I do want to go
Last night I said I was overstretched in all areas
And yet here I am still
Fighting for myself
Fighting for...
What?
More of the same?
Nov 30, 2015
Nov 30, 2015 at 1:58 PM UTC
The truth is
I don’t feel strong
I feel weak
Dehydrated
Anxious
I woke at 3am covered in sweat
5am again
Got up at 6
Worrying about the day ahead
Tiny things
Simple things
That seem way beyond me
She cannot bear my weakness
I cannot bear her indifference
I watch with envy
Travelers boarding the train
I imagine their successful lives
Whilst denigrating my own
Asking, can I ever ever ever be happy?
I travel to a place I don’t want to go to
But there is no place
I do want to go
Last night I said I was overstretched in all areas
And yet here I am still
Fighting for myself
Fighting for...
What?
More of the same?
Written 30th November 2015
