Steel whispers softly
into the ears of the wooden table.
Only fate hears words spoken,
while the audience impatiently waits.
Breath held, pulse high.
Steel and wood spin
in their dangerous dance.
I dare not blink,
afraid I might miss.
My heart pounds louder with each rotation,
every time the barrel
bares its teeth at my fearful gaze.
Shadows of spinning steel seem to slow.
Click.
Warmth pools beneath my arms.
A sea of glistening red paint
spills across an untouched canvas.
A roulette wheel,
I had bet my soul on red.
It seems I have won.
I scream at God, demanding why.
Tears roll down my face,
as I shake my fist at he who sits high above.
He who had promised protection.
He who had sworn unconditional love.
Why force this game upon me,
and why make me win?
Silence answers.
The room stays still,
the echo of the freshly fired bullet
fading into the wooden table.
I look around and finally see,
there was no one else in the room all along.
I chose to play the game.
I had been the one to load the gun.
Dec 9, 2025
Dec 9, 2025 at 9:25 PM UTC
Steel whispers softly
into the ears of the wooden table.
Only fate hears words spoken,
while the audience impatiently waits.
Breath held, pulse high.
Steel and wood spin
in their dangerous dance.
I dare not blink,
afraid I might miss.
My heart pounds louder with each rotation,
every time the barrel
bares its teeth at my fearful gaze.
Shadows of spinning steel seem to slow.
Click.
Warmth pools beneath my arms.
A sea of glistening red paint
spills across an untouched canvas.
A roulette wheel,
I had bet my soul on red.
It seems I have won.
I scream at God, demanding why.
Tears roll down my face,
as I shake my fist at he who sits high above.
He who had promised protection.
He who had sworn unconditional love.
Why force this game upon me,
and why make me win?
Silence answers.
The room stays still,
the echo of the freshly fired bullet
fading into the wooden table.
I look around and finally see,
there was no one else in the room all along.
I chose to play the game.
I had been the one to load the gun.
I used to blame the God I had believed in for every disastrous occurence in my life. Only when I grew older did I realize that I was at the root of my own choices. Whether one believes in a God or not is meaningless when faced with the truth I learned. We are in control of much that happens to us. We agonize when we are shot with the gun we not only chose to spin, but had loaded ourselves. Not God. Not fate. Us.