Being suicidal doesn't mean i'm going to **** myself

Being suicidal is having this unexplicable ache while you're living

It's waiting for your life to end, and wishing you didn't have to carry on

Having this ache, an incapability to feel happy living, doesn't mean that I am going to **** myself -

It just means I wouldn't mind dying.

joshw

Suicidal

Jun 6, 2026

June 2026

2026

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mudassirpz

I always knew there was another way to put "suicidal", other than "killing oneself"... and here it is...
Absolutely brilliant...

feggyr-citack

Been there, still there, will be there forever. Good write, Josh.

31999321

I don't know what to say.  Hope everything goes well on your side of the world. Be strong and have courage. Life could be a prison, but death is hardly infiniteness.

nublaccsoul

einstein-noodle

this reads kind of like a journal entry ... i can feel the frustration over others trying to be helpful when told we wouldn't mind dying ... i think your poem speaks more to depression than suicide, however ....depression is such a little understood medical condition even today when information and therapies are growing and improving daily .. suicide does mean to take ones life ;( ... but semantics aside... there is a honesty, in you write, that touches the heart and mind ...i hope this is not a confessional poem ... but either way i wish you all the best today and every day.

sunsprout

Perfectly conveyed this feeling... Thank you, now I think I can explain it properly :)

timothy-manzano

And check mate... well said. One correction I think. "and incapablility"  to an incapability ?  other than that, fuck ya.

faith_elizabeth

Pray to God for peace in your mind. Thinking about dying isn't bad, But maybe instead, give your life to him and you'll have eternal life with him in Heaven after you die! But enjoy this life he's given you, But also give your life to him and you'll find hope an love! -Faith <3

DreamDemon

weeping-willow

I so understand these thoughts,as I have many of them;-\ Thanks for sharing your thoughts.

cj-sutherland

It's easy to let go it hard to live strong poem

elys_393

well said. Could not have been described better in such few words.

emmackenzie

I relate to this, and hope you continue to keep going. Sometimes you just gotta live, even if it feels like Hell. Amazing piece, amazing summarization for those who don't get it.

Moi-Cherie

perhaps we dwell in sadness,, regret, shame an hate 
 creating depression because we are not living the destiny we have been given we can do anything we can be anything I have been very depressed before dwelling an all though I have transcended all of these emotions so I know it can be done. but what do I know really? Very little nice ink thought-provoking pen &#10084;&#10084;&#10084;

Jobira

removed.-bqfp

I know what you mean, I feel that way too, and agree with your statement, wish other people would listen and understand :D

courtney-pruitt

Makes me unafraid of death at least abstractly. But once faced with the prospect it was terrifying

Jeff

Born

Deblyn

wordvango

smile...for someday you are going to be complete. Look at life like exercise. Nothing comes easily.
Oh, and by the way, your poem made the Daily!  Congrats.

Thisisme

DeviantMuze

Actually.
[&#712;so&#862;o&#601;&#716;s&#299;d]NOUN
the action of killing oneself intentionally:
"he committed suicide at the age of forty"&#8194;&#183;

NourCreationz

Greymirror

Wow... So beautifully penned. I can relate to this often..

lazhar-bouazzi

removed.-g42s

I can only wish I had the wits and words to write a poem so strong

kainat_rasheed

don't end your life because your life is always connected to others
ending life means you are useless but God do not made any thing useless you are not your property but property of god 
thankyou

salmabanu-hatim

Ok.If you think about it you tend to do it

Staid

I love this poem, it's beautifully eloquent.

morgan6062

I understand this feeling. Thank you for saying the words so many wish others would understand.

kim-johanna-baker

Brilliantly written.. I am so sorry you are feeling in this most wretched beyond words state.. I relate absolutely, you have my prayers and my deep compassion.. May you soon enter into a more joyful and peaceful state of being.. Love , hugs and best wishes.. thank you for sharing.. kimx

mcgee004

Everything that I couldn't and still can't put into words. Beautiful. Thank you.

elizahjanet

Maybe torture comes with reason. If you didn't feel pain, the world would not have gained your art- your mind. So you own that "unexplicable ache", Josh Wilbanks, for without it your stained words would not sing.

diana-korchien

That's exactly how I've been feeling of late. Too optimistic to die with intent, but so depressed by my vision of an increasingly anthropocentric future. (A Greenie)

Marc_Hawkins

kim-lang

So special. I can relate! I wish you well on your journey.

GreenTreez

Like waiting for the check at the Diner, Once your meal is complete. There is nothing more to wait for than the check.

bridgid-p-newman-henson

I've felt that way most of my life, I despise the psychopathic society I live in

BenCazu

Life circumstances can drive a man to contemplate sulcide.
We don't die when we stop breathing,we die the moment life becomes void and empty.
They call it giving up on life.
I call it dead man living.

andrew-guzaldo-c

It means you are Un Happy with your life, You need to cling to those that make you Happy, and make you feel good about yourself!!

andy-lyle

easy to go there difficult to get back.  good write thank you for sharing

removed.-hxwm

Nicely written, Josh, but it doesn't appear to be poetry to me, but an explanation for suicidal thoughts.

MeDiaz

Put my thoughts into words! I just wish more people would understand this. Great piece!

derek-2

not brilliant , read philosophical dimensions of suicide. 26 different ways in german to say it.

ashur-a-beasley

Pio-Jasso

Josh - Life can be like a stop over at very shitty bus station. It can be hard to separate the bus station, the bus ride for the destination cities.  Sometimes the dirt and funkiness of the 'in-between' demands our full attention.  'WTF' I am already on the bus,  in the seat, smelling somebody's funky lunch in a shoe box, and all I can do sometimes is look out the window or take a nap. When I get to the next destination, then I will see what happens.  I think that some of us can touch this rawness without the urge to pull the covers over our heads. This can make others uncomfortable, but I think your awareness makes you strong, because life and death are universal and to be afraid of either is just plain foolishness. Take care of yourself. - Pio

charlesc

Seeking happiness!  Happiness is what we are made of.....not what we do!  Good poem, josh!

Rose-Sweetz

Wow this is so deep and so well written good job

brendamukisa

this is amazing... too much put into words in such a beautiful way..... its not a bad thing, i feel it too every day.... we dont hate life.....but just maybe, death isnt a bad thing.

EyesLikeDesertDunes

I used to say, "it's not that I'm trying to die, im just not trying to prolong my stay here." Life's good, people are jealous, weak, selfish and self seeking, they've been reduced to primates through conditioning, and we are complacent, and accept the social structures the highest classes impose on us as qualities of life, this place is supposed to be fun, and it is, but "they" ruin it

Josh, may I share this on my FB page? I will credit it to you. It's so lovely.

Blackisthetaintedsoul

Hits home! Beautifully put! I feel it every damn day.

ian-lewis-copestick

I understand only too well, I have been there too.
Love your poem!

terry-jordan

Depression is the most treatable of mental illnesses.&#128159;

nacreous-views

Is wat Hv been goin thru 4 a very very long tym.....now....dunno how far will go....&#128546;

tswanner1

robin-10

This is relatable. Depression hurts so deep.

airamacawile

ingrete-nontokozo-ngomane

l-seagull

kenya83

I wish you well. Although I'm having an off day today, I found that mindfulness meditation, exercise & reading about others & mind science  can really help with more positive thoughts.
Please don't consider dying. Dead is forever. Life is very precious, pain, suffering, depression is temporary.
Please seek the help you need or message me if you need someone to listen.x

Dreaming-Demon

So true and so relatable...powerful piece...thank you for sharing

removed.-68rp

christopher-victor-russon

We all feel down and some folk want out 
Finding that possitive outlet is important
Exspresing oneself is one way good write.