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i want to tell you how i feel And call you something id regret Acting cold has never been my strong suit That would claw at you, wouldn't it? I want to scratch at the looming figure you send to me Cry out to the crows, cry out to God If i had a metaphor, a metronome, a minute to sit and spill The balance would tip, The scales would split And we’d be even in the ground again Our battered hearts would grow around each other's His whisper in my ear, I curl in on myself. I straighten my back and tell him I need to leave? A question disguised as You should’ve told me to stop I wash myself, ***** ***** ***** Tell me I love it, cradles me to his chest Fixes my clothes and pulls up my jeans A choking blue iris and a pupil so small It looks like its Two thousand light years away All he did was, Something i can’t quite remember. All i feel is numb. Liking “it” at the time does nothing, Its an illusion to cope with the memories to dispel the sickness Motionless static vision, A hurt behind the tear ducts A build-up, a time bomb filled with knives A black hole of what i could've done To save him from me, to save myself from him A stomach-ache at the urges Bile rising like his anger did, A victim, a villian, a man, an infant. A glint in the eye Random panic, a clawing heaving Ripping its way up my throat A blame to place, beginning of the begging A strange ritual, a thing i hate, Youthful face and corpse eyes A smashed light, a bare mattress, Mould creeping up the walls A hand, a face, a tooth glinting in memory Somewhere i can’t go, A freeze, a need to feel loved. A deer in headlights knelt at attention again Inferior, teary eyed and doelike something that i believe myself to be
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Apr 20
Apr 20, 2026 at 6:34 AM UTC
Acting nice for you
i want to tell you how i feel And call you something id regret Acting cold has never been my strong suit That would claw at you, wouldn't it? I want to scratch at the looming figure you send to me Cry out to the crows, cry out to God If i had a metaphor, a metronome, a minute to sit and spill The balance would tip, The scales would split And we’d be even in the ground again Our battered hearts would grow around each other's His whisper in my ear, I curl in on myself. I straighten my back and tell him I need to leave? A question disguised as You should’ve told me to stop I wash myself, ***** ***** ***** Tell me I love it, cradles me to his chest Fixes my clothes and pulls up my jeans A choking blue iris and a pupil so small It looks like its Two thousand light years away All he did was, Something i can’t quite remember. All i feel is numb. Liking “it” at the time does nothing, Its an illusion to cope with the memories to dispel the sickness Motionless static vision, A hurt behind the tear ducts A build-up, a time bomb filled with knives A black hole of what i could've done To save him from me, to save myself from him A stomach-ache at the urges Bile rising like his anger did, A victim, a villian, a man, an infant. A glint in the eye Random panic, a clawing heaving Ripping its way up my throat A blame to place, beginning of the begging A strange ritual, a thing i hate, Youthful face and corpse eyes A smashed light, a bare mattress, Mould creeping up the walls A hand, a face, a tooth glinting in memory Somewhere i can’t go, A freeze, a need to feel loved. A deer in headlights knelt at attention again Inferior, teary eyed and doelike something that i believe myself to be
ends-of-the-earth
Written by
15/F/england
Apr 20
Apr 20, 2026 at 6:34 AM UTC
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