I'll Only Be Waiting

I cut my hair just to see if it would grow back.

It was long, thick, and somewhere between

Light brown and strawberry blonde.

I hung my head upside down

And ran my fingers through the eighteen inches

Of snigs and snags and knots

For the final time.

It wasn't silky.

It wasn't particularly soft.

I gathered it into a ponytail

And

Chop, chop, chop

Thousands of tiny hairs cried out

And tumbled to the floor en masse.

I shook my head about

Flinging my shorter hairs into my eyes.

I glowed with the feeling of liberation

While I shivered from the cold on my bare neck

So I stared at the fallen golden rope

Part gleefully, part mournfully

And I waited,

Warily and giddily and wonderingly,

For my hair to grow back.

I tell you this, not to explain

That old photo of me where I look like a boy,

But so that you can understand that

If one day I decide to push you away,

I'll only be waiting.

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