It's four o'clock in the morning and I should be far away from this bed
in the land of dreams where anything can happen
Yet I still lay here, replaying your words in my head over and over again
and memorizing each dreadful sentence you spoke
You are a writer, and I guess that I am too
but my thoughts can't pour down onto paper half as well as yours do
Not only can you write though
heck, you can even talk
I've listened to you speak of your hopes and dreams, your past and sorrows
and to be quite honest, it didn't matter what you spoke of
Because every single word flowed out of your mouth so beautifully that I was mesmerized
even if they were words that I didn't want to hear
I... just don't think we're right for each other at this point in time.
Don't you understand? Don't you feel the same way?
Of course I understand.
I knew all along that I would never be good enough for you
a person of such beauty, such wisdom, such potential
I think you're beautiful and have so much potential for greatness but I don't think you see it.
Beautiful?
I am not beautiful
I am scared
scared of life and everything in it
I am empty
my heart feels as if it has shrunk down to nothing and I'm numb
I am unworthy
there is not another human being on this earth who could ever be satisfied with someone like me
I'm sorry.
Now, with the tears pouring down my face
I realize that I hate myself
I hate myself for never being good enough
or smart enough, or beautiful enough
But most of all
I hate myself for knowing that I deserve this
Goodbye...