Our little collegetown is a jungle tonight,
with the deafening, staticky drone of locusts constituting
its own kind of warm gravity,
sidewalks drenched and carpeted with a rotting mess of
blood-red maple leaves, and
thousands of spiders the size of human eyes, glaring
down from the dead-center of their backlit, dew-drizzled webs.
I always thought that I'd never be loved enough.
In crafting anthologies on the angles of my favorite noses,
I pretended I didn't want someone else’s protractor on my own,
and prepared for a life sentence as the uncharted geometer,
the invisible painter, the secret poet,
the immortalizer, rather than the immortalized.
I find myself, now, to be a poem––
your poem––
etched into the curvature of your jungle-green eyes.
But walking home in our jungle tonight, I feel sick.
Your ears distort my hesitant laughter
into a dissonant, deafening euphoria, and
when I lay my head on your heated chest, I can feel the blood
gushing underneath your skin,
surging through your veins, storming, drowning
you, and I feel sick because all this love you pump for me--
all this love you are drowning in--
only rots in my guilty stomach...
When my memory is watching me
with her thousands of glaring eyes,
she will always mourn the breaking of a beautiful heart.
Oct 4, 2021
Oct 4, 2021 at 3:08 AM UTC
Our little collegetown is a jungle tonight,
with the deafening, staticky drone of locusts constituting
its own kind of warm gravity,
sidewalks drenched and carpeted with a rotting mess of
blood-red maple leaves, and
thousands of spiders the size of human eyes, glaring
down from the dead-center of their backlit, dew-drizzled webs.
I always thought that I'd never be loved enough.
In crafting anthologies on the angles of my favorite noses,
I pretended I didn't want someone else’s protractor on my own,
and prepared for a life sentence as the uncharted geometer,
the invisible painter, the secret poet,
the immortalizer, rather than the immortalized.
I find myself, now, to be a poem––
your poem––
etched into the curvature of your jungle-green eyes.
But walking home in our jungle tonight, I feel sick.
Your ears distort my hesitant laughter
into a dissonant, deafening euphoria, and
when I lay my head on your heated chest, I can feel the blood
gushing underneath your skin,
surging through your veins, storming, drowning
you, and I feel sick because all this love you pump for me--
all this love you are drowning in--
only rots in my guilty stomach...
When my memory is watching me
with her thousands of glaring eyes,
she will always mourn the breaking of a beautiful heart.
JDS
"You treat me like I was your ocean
You swim in my blood when it's warm
My cycles of circular motion
Protect you and keep you from harm
You live in a world of illusion
Where everything's peaches and cream
We all face a scarlet conclusion
But we spend our time in a dream"
-- Jungle Love by Steve Miller Band lol
https://youtu.be/GW3pRQE-Cks
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