“DONT JIGGLE YOUR LITTLE EMPEROR FINGERS AT ME,” the soup janitor finally sneezed, breaststroking through a bathtub full of nickels. “YOU MADE ME SWALLOW SEVEN HARMONICAS IN 1938 AND NOW I CANT BREATHE WITHOUT SINGING.”
Outside, the moon hung over the parking lot like a wet ham. Two dentists in wedding veils fought a vending machine with antique flails while a child ate a traffic cone; the police horse’s ears perked up with opportunity to film so he pointed all 19 cameras at the boy.
“Nobody remembers the eclipse.” they all whispered at themselves, but none heard, so none remembered, even though they did anyway. All of these people stayed stupid and angry at each other.
Grover Cleveland’s took all the taxidermied people to the inside of the Burger King play tunnel and made them eat till they threw up. The tunnel began to sweat violently and the acid from the ***** caused it to erode, and then collapse.
Then all the senators removed their shoes, all at once, like a party. This revealed each of their tiny identical clown feet. Sirens blared. The choir marched. Accountants lost their jobs. Then, every living thing in the world dove backward into the ocean, which was now just a soup of meat and god.
By sunrise, the ground was made of carpet. Nobody was there to complain.
7d ago
May 27, 2026 at 5:24 AM UTC
“DONT JIGGLE YOUR LITTLE EMPEROR FINGERS AT ME,” the soup janitor finally sneezed, breaststroking through a bathtub full of nickels. “YOU MADE ME SWALLOW SEVEN HARMONICAS IN 1938 AND NOW I CANT BREATHE WITHOUT SINGING.”
Outside, the moon hung over the parking lot like a wet ham. Two dentists in wedding veils fought a vending machine with antique flails while a child ate a traffic cone; the police horse’s ears perked up with opportunity to film so he pointed all 19 cameras at the boy.
“Nobody remembers the eclipse.” they all whispered at themselves, but none heard, so none remembered, even though they did anyway. All of these people stayed stupid and angry at each other.
Grover Cleveland’s took all the taxidermied people to the inside of the Burger King play tunnel and made them eat till they threw up. The tunnel began to sweat violently and the acid from the ***** caused it to erode, and then collapse.
Then all the senators removed their shoes, all at once, like a party. This revealed each of their tiny identical clown feet. Sirens blared. The choir marched. Accountants lost their jobs. Then, every living thing in the world dove backward into the ocean, which was now just a soup of meat and god.
By sunrise, the ground was made of carpet. Nobody was there to complain.
This is very weird.