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VOIDRESIDENT372Poems
Somethings are not as they seem Pencils are used to hurt Hands are used to distract Scratching out unspoken words Save me from this pitiful act Screaming until I’m raw “It's all in your head” Crying hurts and breathing's hard Constantly regretting the things I said Lying awake until the sun rises Failing grades Participation prizes Painful methods Tried and true But I just need control I’ll come crying to you Just one more day Just one more cut One last time Blades turned blunt The burning sensation on my wrists The control I feel The ignorant bliss It only hurts when you stop Stop and think “Is this wrong” It only hurts me “Yes, I’m fine” I can fix it Give me more time Time to think Time to breathe Time to stop They tell me so I shouldn’t have told them I’m hurting them more Now I’m on their minds Collapsed on the floor No more No more No more I beg and beg Brain clouded with thoughts “You deserve this” I’ll just cover up the spots Hiding the scars Hiding from me Band-aids and tissues There's no breaking free “I should have shut up” “I should have talked more” “You’re so pathetic” “Such a bore” Leave me alone I just want to sleep Thinking of things I’d rather not speak I deserve this Most have it worse Screaming and screaming My voice turns coarse Cover up my arms No one will know I hide out in my room This anger starts to overflow Mad at myself Mad at the world I hate my body Eating until I hurled I’m so tired Everyone, everything Left by myself Left alone to think Alone with my thoughts “You only cause pain” I can’t take it I think I’m going insane No matter what’s happening Something drags me back Back to the sadness Pounding until I crack Snap Oops there goes my head Used to see black Now I see red No one knows what I do Behind locked doors Cutting and scrapping Just one more Can’t think no more Can't do no more Hahahaha Laughing so I don’t cry Bottom of the barrel Just getting by Stormy nights Drown out the thoughts Block out the noise My stomach’s in knots Just breathe no one knows Is that good or bad? I feel hollow Use me up Take me now I can’t live like this But I chose this I want to scream Blood on the floor But I chose this Crying No more No more But I chose this Sobbing on the floor But I choose this There is no escape Trapped in the dark Lovely weather, Isn’t it? Reaching for anything sharp Reaching for peace Reaching for kindness For something that’s not there How could I have been so blinded? Truth be told The world still spins But I remain frozen Trapped in this skin All skin and bones “You’re so skinny” “You’re so lucky” So why don’t I feel pretty? “Eat less” “Eat more” Conflicting voices An internal war Boom Goes the cannon Snap Goes my head Cracking until I bled Filling me with dread Blurry vision I can’t think straight Can't focus Watch your weight Maybe I did like it better Back when I was unhealthy I was vomiting up my food But at least I was pretty Tiptoe down the stairs Don't make a sound They can’t know you’re hurting If you don’t tell them now Blurry faces Forgotten names Splitting skull Wrapped in chains I can't do this anymore I need someone Someone to see Someone to love Someone to hear my plea But no one can help If I don’t tell them I’ll go with the flow Follow the algorithm Nothing ever changes No one ever sees Pretty little head Filled with worries Snap Oops Now I’m gone It’s too late I wish I was never born No more No more No more
0
May 7, 2025
May 7, 2025 at 10:10 AM UTC
no more
Somethings are not as they seem Pencils are used to hurt Hands are used to distract Scratching out unspoken words Save me from this pitiful act Screaming until I’m raw “It's all in your head” Crying hurts and breathing's hard Constantly regretting the things I said Lying awake until the sun rises Failing grades Participation prizes Painful methods Tried and true But I just need control I’ll come crying to you Just one more day Just one more cut One last time Blades turned blunt The burning sensation on my wrists The control I feel The ignorant bliss It only hurts when you stop Stop and think “Is this wrong” It only hurts me “Yes, I’m fine” I can fix it Give me more time Time to think Time to breathe Time to stop They tell me so I shouldn’t have told them I’m hurting them more Now I’m on their minds Collapsed on the floor No more No more No more I beg and beg Brain clouded with thoughts “You deserve this” I’ll just cover up the spots Hiding the scars Hiding from me Band-aids and tissues There's no breaking free “I should have shut up” “I should have talked more” “You’re so pathetic” “Such a bore” Leave me alone I just want to sleep Thinking of things I’d rather not speak I deserve this Most have it worse Screaming and screaming My voice turns coarse Cover up my arms No one will know I hide out in my room This anger starts to overflow Mad at myself Mad at the world I hate my body Eating until I hurled I’m so tired Everyone, everything Left by myself Left alone to think Alone with my thoughts “You only cause pain” I can’t take it I think I’m going insane No matter what’s happening Something drags me back Back to the sadness Pounding until I crack Snap Oops there goes my head Used to see black Now I see red No one knows what I do Behind locked doors Cutting and scrapping Just one more Can’t think no more Can't do no more Hahahaha Laughing so I don’t cry Bottom of the barrel Just getting by Stormy nights Drown out the thoughts Block out the noise My stomach’s in knots Just breathe no one knows Is that good or bad? I feel hollow Use me up Take me now I can’t live like this But I chose this I want to scream Blood on the floor But I chose this Crying No more No more But I chose this Sobbing on the floor But I choose this There is no escape Trapped in the dark Lovely weather, Isn’t it? Reaching for anything sharp Reaching for peace Reaching for kindness For something that’s not there How could I have been so blinded? Truth be told The world still spins But I remain frozen Trapped in this skin All skin and bones “You’re so skinny” “You’re so lucky” So why don’t I feel pretty? “Eat less” “Eat more” Conflicting voices An internal war Boom Goes the cannon Snap Goes my head Cracking until I bled Filling me with dread Blurry vision I can’t think straight Can't focus Watch your weight Maybe I did like it better Back when I was unhealthy I was vomiting up my food But at least I was pretty Tiptoe down the stairs Don't make a sound They can’t know you’re hurting If you don’t tell them now Blurry faces Forgotten names Splitting skull Wrapped in chains I can't do this anymore I need someone Someone to see Someone to love Someone to hear my plea But no one can help If I don’t tell them I’ll go with the flow Follow the algorithm Nothing ever changes No one ever sees Pretty little head Filled with worries Snap Oops Now I’m gone It’s too late I wish I was never born No more No more No more
Sorry this one's so long
#selfharm#eatingdisorder#depression#vent
VOIDRESIDENT372
Written by
VOIDRESIDENT372
15/GQ/the void
May 7, 2025
May 7, 2025 at 10:10 AM UTC
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