It is always dark outside when I see your face
Your wide eyes glisten against the moon
I keep my hands folded, my ankles crossed
My body twitches in confusion
Time passes and I ease into a comfortable, careful state
The first time you kiss me is always the sweetest
Never lasts long, but drowns out the sound of car tires and fluctuating voices if only for a moment
I search for signs in the way you brush an arm against my back
Signs of what I can’t expect
Signs of what I want to expect
Staring into you as long as I can, until my gaze shifts past you
You toy with me; tease me as if this is a game.
As if I am a game.
We walk together
You talk to me, I talk to the sidewalk
You make me want to burst
Something about the way that you never seem to care in the way everyone else would
If I stood up and walked away, you wouldn’t come after me
Something about that frustrates me, but makes me want to stay
Never go home
I know I should let it go, let it fade into unfulfilled memories
Before I hurt
I know that every step I take will pull me down
I know that
But I listen beyond a melody, to the mumbling verses I can’t yet understand
For signs
I’m always searching for signs