The fear for my health, to see myself
even worse than this.
I cry and tear myself apart in frustration.
You who were supposed to guide me and follow me-
to teach me how to live, to teach me how to survive.
It is in my body now, it is pain and it is ugly.
I am ugly. I am in pain.
It's humiliating.
I try my best- I want to be the best, to win over everyone.
I need to satisfy my superiority complex-
Eva has been through it all, "You're the best!".
And yet with my smile, with my skin, with my breaths... with my gaze
it all falls apart.
I am so glad to be able to write, to be able to see, to sing...
But I wish I couldn't- I wish it to be over, this humiliation.
I am tired of not existing, I can't do it anymore.
And yet I will never be able to end it.
It's so humiliating.
I just want to be like everyone else.
Mar 17, 2019
Mar 17, 2019 at 1:23 PM UTC
The fear for my health, to see myself
even worse than this.
I cry and tear myself apart in frustration.
You who were supposed to guide me and follow me-
to teach me how to live, to teach me how to survive.
It is in my body now, it is pain and it is ugly.
I am ugly. I am in pain.
It's humiliating.
I try my best- I want to be the best, to win over everyone.
I need to satisfy my superiority complex-
Eva has been through it all, "You're the best!".
And yet with my smile, with my skin, with my breaths... with my gaze
it all falls apart.
I am so glad to be able to write, to be able to see, to sing...
But I wish I couldn't- I wish it to be over, this humiliation.
I am tired of not existing, I can't do it anymore.
And yet I will never be able to end it.
It's so humiliating.
I just want to be like everyone else.
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