Contentment is perhaps, not something to be perpetual
Rather, as the hedonic treadmill sinks our feet into splintered mud
Before releasing them as we patter into a welcoming sea
We find contentment to be.. given when we aren't looking for it
Like love, perhaps.
I should talk about her, shouldn't I
This one who fills me with ambition and confidence as the man I am now
And a creeping fear, that her sight of the man I was
Would undo the foundations, bring me back down to insecurity
But then.. I know that's not true.
She asks to see everything
Not knowing how the floodgates bulge
A history of positive and negative extremes
That I still have trouble looking at with clarity
Or without the wounds unclosing
Yet...
I know if she sees it all
Clutching my hand, with honest open eyes
And a heel breaking the hinges towards a reveal
She may be angry with me
She may pity me
Or find reasons to question me further
But
I can trust her
I can let myself be me with her
Even if I don't quite know what that means
As I boil out into the sand and let go of productivity
In this strange solace of words where I look inward
With eyes warmer and more rational than I've had before
I know she is the reason this is all easier,
She is the reason to be more,
So.. when I'm able,
I'll show her who I was.
Apr 18, 2018
Apr 18, 2018 at 5:19 PM UTC
Contentment is perhaps, not something to be perpetual
Rather, as the hedonic treadmill sinks our feet into splintered mud
Before releasing them as we patter into a welcoming sea
We find contentment to be.. given when we aren't looking for it
Like love, perhaps.
I should talk about her, shouldn't I
This one who fills me with ambition and confidence as the man I am now
And a creeping fear, that her sight of the man I was
Would undo the foundations, bring me back down to insecurity
But then.. I know that's not true.
She asks to see everything
Not knowing how the floodgates bulge
A history of positive and negative extremes
That I still have trouble looking at with clarity
Or without the wounds unclosing
Yet...
I know if she sees it all
Clutching my hand, with honest open eyes
And a heel breaking the hinges towards a reveal
She may be angry with me
She may pity me
Or find reasons to question me further
But
I can trust her
I can let myself be me with her
Even if I don't quite know what that means
As I boil out into the sand and let go of productivity
In this strange solace of words where I look inward
With eyes warmer and more rational than I've had before
I know she is the reason this is all easier,
She is the reason to be more,
So.. when I'm able,
I'll show her who I was.
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