we were just small children so we didn’t quite understand what father meant when he said
“mother is sad”
we continued our games and make believe stories and waited for mother to be happy
and when we were young, sad just meant someone stepped on your picture
or they ruined your sand castle
and in 2 seconds it was over
the deeper I fall into my depression I find my mother
I find her ghouls and her ghosts
her corpses
I find her dark eyes in my dark eyes every time I look in the mirror
and I find her hatred for everything, including me
I find new ways to torture myself
my mother
“you have your mothers eyes”
we also have the same disease
the only difference is, her demons won
mine don’t stand a chance