So difficult a thing to give the inexperienced a way to understand.
Why I am shaped the way I am by things I had never planned.
I could tell you of those things in the hope they would shine a light.
But unless you have been there you just couldn't see them right.
Now I know that from the outside I may look the same as you.
But I also know that on the inside I can see a different view.
Those unplanned things that changed me in oh so many ways.
Leaving me without a point or purpose facing lonely empty days.
So deep the changes made that I struggle to leave my own door.
In a head that despises minutes and asks what all the hours are for.
In a mind that knows me Oh so well fearing you can see inside.
Withdrawn from your society is my only safe place to hide.
My mind is not so broken that I have forgotten all my past.
It knows full well that by choice hope and love have been outcast.
To the inexperienced from a mind that survives a life in this way.
I hope you have clearer understanding of how I live my every day.
I have no wisdom to offer or warning of a path you should avoid.
External views wont show you why survival has been employed.
Where choice has different meaning, instinct plays a bigger part.
And mind suppresses both hope and dreams of a broken heart.
I am become who I am by the path my life road has turned.
I am this shape by instinct to survive, not from lessons I have learned.
Nov 3, 2020
Nov 3, 2020 at 12:17 AM UTC
So difficult a thing to give the inexperienced a way to understand.
Why I am shaped the way I am by things I had never planned.
I could tell you of those things in the hope they would shine a light.
But unless you have been there you just couldn't see them right.
Now I know that from the outside I may look the same as you.
But I also know that on the inside I can see a different view.
Those unplanned things that changed me in oh so many ways.
Leaving me without a point or purpose facing lonely empty days.
So deep the changes made that I struggle to leave my own door.
In a head that despises minutes and asks what all the hours are for.
In a mind that knows me Oh so well fearing you can see inside.
Withdrawn from your society is my only safe place to hide.
My mind is not so broken that I have forgotten all my past.
It knows full well that by choice hope and love have been outcast.
To the inexperienced from a mind that survives a life in this way.
I hope you have clearer understanding of how I live my every day.
I have no wisdom to offer or warning of a path you should avoid.
External views wont show you why survival has been employed.
Where choice has different meaning, instinct plays a bigger part.
And mind suppresses both hope and dreams of a broken heart.
I am become who I am by the path my life road has turned.
I am this shape by instinct to survive, not from lessons I have learned.
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