Hallowed/Hollowed
If you had let me, I would have said you’re right.
Not about all of it, but there is truth in what you wrote. I recognize it. I acknowledge it. You believe Incongruence was born of Inhabitants, but it was not. I have no reason or motive to deceive you. I have misunderstood much, I have let my emotions ahead of me, but I have never tried to deceive you. I have, for close to three years now, earnestly tried to understand. It seems the effort was a failure, but it has always been earnest and well-intentioned.
At times I have regretfully led with anger or hurt or resentment. I have repeatedly admitted my own path is still strewn with obstacles. There is much of the cleared trail I’ve never discussed with you. There are parts of me and my life you know little to nothing about. Never in an attempt to deceive you - in an effort to protect myself. They are not secret; they require more safety and care than I felt present. It isn’t a criticism, it is just a truth. I would have shared them with you if you asked, if there was space and it felt safe. Over a decade of learning and vulnerability still feels much like falling into a frozen lake. Except each time I do it, I realize the lake isn’t frozen and I can swim again. It still terrifies me. I am trying.
I may not understand your specific mechanism of captivity, but I do understand parallels from my own experience. To begin to escape my own internment, I had to learn how to soften the walls. Chemistry, not warfare. I don’t know and won’t pretend to know how it feels for you. If I had been given the opportunity, I would have sat and listened. My swords have long since been stored. Incongruence was not drafted with anger or resentment; it was a release of residual hurt. That doesn’t negate its consequence upon delivery, I acknowledge its weight. I can recognize my need to release it and still recognize it caused injury. I am sorry for it and all of the ways I have ever hurt you.
I do not and never will deny the existence of the Castle or Nobility. Had I the opportunity, I would have openly recognized them with you. I do not believe the Castle and I are still inextricably entwined. We were once enmeshed. The Castle was once my fiercest protector and shield, turned captor. It was as you said. We are not entirely severed - not yet, maybe not ever - but I am not confined within its walls. I tried to show some of that to you, even when it didn’t feel safe. My parley to you. Unpolished, scared, hurt, and exhausted, but sincere. I have never wanted to deceive you.
I stand by what I said and I will leave this be. I still don’t regret loving you or caring about you or trying. The cabin stands and you’ll know the path to find it when, not if, you are released from Nobility’s grasp. While I may not reside within, you’ll find respite there. Maybe moreso in my absence. I built it for us but it is my gift to you, even if I am no longer around to see it. You do deserve all of the love you’ve ever been given. Every drop from Sentiments and others yet unshared. I hope one day you can accept and believe it.
I’m sorry for how this story concludes. I’m sorry for my role in the damage and the hurt and the harm. We may never find a fresh page in a new tome, but I accept that and will never regret falling in love with you. Thank you for giving me the opportunity.
Dec 8, 2025
Dec 8, 2025 at 11:51 PM UTC
Hallowed/Hollowed
If you had let me, I would have said you’re right.
Not about all of it, but there is truth in what you wrote. I recognize it. I acknowledge it. You believe Incongruence was born of Inhabitants, but it was not. I have no reason or motive to deceive you. I have misunderstood much, I have let my emotions ahead of me, but I have never tried to deceive you. I have, for close to three years now, earnestly tried to understand. It seems the effort was a failure, but it has always been earnest and well-intentioned.
At times I have regretfully led with anger or hurt or resentment. I have repeatedly admitted my own path is still strewn with obstacles. There is much of the cleared trail I’ve never discussed with you. There are parts of me and my life you know little to nothing about. Never in an attempt to deceive you - in an effort to protect myself. They are not secret; they require more safety and care than I felt present. It isn’t a criticism, it is just a truth. I would have shared them with you if you asked, if there was space and it felt safe. Over a decade of learning and vulnerability still feels much like falling into a frozen lake. Except each time I do it, I realize the lake isn’t frozen and I can swim again. It still terrifies me. I am trying.
I may not understand your specific mechanism of captivity, but I do understand parallels from my own experience. To begin to escape my own internment, I had to learn how to soften the walls. Chemistry, not warfare. I don’t know and won’t pretend to know how it feels for you. If I had been given the opportunity, I would have sat and listened. My swords have long since been stored. Incongruence was not drafted with anger or resentment; it was a release of residual hurt. That doesn’t negate its consequence upon delivery, I acknowledge its weight. I can recognize my need to release it and still recognize it caused injury. I am sorry for it and all of the ways I have ever hurt you.
I do not and never will deny the existence of the Castle or Nobility. Had I the opportunity, I would have openly recognized them with you. I do not believe the Castle and I are still inextricably entwined. We were once enmeshed. The Castle was once my fiercest protector and shield, turned captor. It was as you said. We are not entirely severed - not yet, maybe not ever - but I am not confined within its walls. I tried to show some of that to you, even when it didn’t feel safe. My parley to you. Unpolished, scared, hurt, and exhausted, but sincere. I have never wanted to deceive you.
I stand by what I said and I will leave this be. I still don’t regret loving you or caring about you or trying. The cabin stands and you’ll know the path to find it when, not if, you are released from Nobility’s grasp. While I may not reside within, you’ll find respite there. Maybe moreso in my absence. I built it for us but it is my gift to you, even if I am no longer around to see it. You do deserve all of the love you’ve ever been given. Every drop from Sentiments and others yet unshared. I hope one day you can accept and believe it.
I’m sorry for how this story concludes. I’m sorry for my role in the damage and the hurt and the harm. We may never find a fresh page in a new tome, but I accept that and will never regret falling in love with you. Thank you for giving me the opportunity.