Sometimes it takes distance to bring fury.
The way my mother boils thinking back to what my father said to his children
When we still were children
And she hid behind a glass of wine and solemnity.
There's a quavering fire in her voice now when we talk about his ugly fits
replacing her quavering smallness from then.
When a lanky café singer
who loved Lucy in the Sky With Diamonds
Stole my breath
… and something small and soft and white from me in a Monterey
Monterey parking lot
I cried
I hid
I scrubbed
But you had better believe
Now?
I burn.
It wasn't my fault his hands were warped and crusted with filth.
His touching me
did NOT make me filthy.
When the curly haired beauty
with his biting, crinkling, smiling eyes
that flash above his mischief mouth
Poured all his sweetness onto me
Just to have me shocked at the bruises
Purple and green and sudden on the heels of his softness ,
I was lost and confused
and blamed myself for his
swaddle-fisted blows
But
I found my brimstone, hours later
Lapping at my lips after a cardboard confrontation
Just because you have a vulnerable heart
doesn't mean you have to be a coward.
Clearly.
Just look at me.
Apr 21, 2019
Apr 21, 2019 at 5:21 AM UTC
Sometimes it takes distance to bring fury.
The way my mother boils thinking back to what my father said to his children
When we still were children
And she hid behind a glass of wine and solemnity.
There's a quavering fire in her voice now when we talk about his ugly fits
replacing her quavering smallness from then.
When a lanky café singer
who loved Lucy in the Sky With Diamonds
Stole my breath
… and something small and soft and white from me in a Monterey
Monterey parking lot
I cried
I hid
I scrubbed
But you had better believe
Now?
I burn.
It wasn't my fault his hands were warped and crusted with filth.
His touching me
did NOT make me filthy.
When the curly haired beauty
with his biting, crinkling, smiling eyes
that flash above his mischief mouth
Poured all his sweetness onto me
Just to have me shocked at the bruises
Purple and green and sudden on the heels of his softness ,
I was lost and confused
and blamed myself for his
swaddle-fisted blows
But
I found my brimstone, hours later
Lapping at my lips after a cardboard confrontation
Just because you have a vulnerable heart
doesn't mean you have to be a coward.
Clearly.
Just look at me.