When the lights turn off,
The quiet gets louder.
All the thoughts I pushed away
Come back like they’ve been waiting
Just outside the door.
I lie there,
Staring into the dark,
And my mind won’t sit still.
I think about what could’ve been
What I should’ve said,
What I could’ve done,
How things might’ve turned out
If I were just a little different.
I replay everything,
But in these versions,
I’m better.
Braver.
Less afraid.
Then I stop and wonder
Do I really feel this way,
Or is it just the night
Making everything seem bigger?
Because at night,
Small thoughts grow.
Doubts feel like facts.
And every feeling
Starts to feel like who I am.
I think about you.
About us.
About what you meant
And what I meant to you.
I make up answers
I’ll probably never know.
I imagine different endings—
Some where you stay,
Some where you never came at all.
And then
My thoughts turn to me.
Who am I
When no one is around?
Am I the same person
I am during the day,
Or someone else entirely?
The dark doesn’t answer.
It just lets me think.
And I keep going,
Question after question,
Thought after thought,
Until I don’t know
If I’m figuring myself out
Or just getting lost in it.
But maybe that’s what the night is
A place where nothing is clear,
But everything is honest.
Where I can’t hide
From my own mind.
Where I finally see
All the parts of me
I don’t notice
When the lights are on.
Apr 18
Apr 18, 2026 at 10:03 PM UTC
When the lights turn off,
The quiet gets louder.
All the thoughts I pushed away
Come back like they’ve been waiting
Just outside the door.
I lie there,
Staring into the dark,
And my mind won’t sit still.
I think about what could’ve been
What I should’ve said,
What I could’ve done,
How things might’ve turned out
If I were just a little different.
I replay everything,
But in these versions,
I’m better.
Braver.
Less afraid.
Then I stop and wonder
Do I really feel this way,
Or is it just the night
Making everything seem bigger?
Because at night,
Small thoughts grow.
Doubts feel like facts.
And every feeling
Starts to feel like who I am.
I think about you.
About us.
About what you meant
And what I meant to you.
I make up answers
I’ll probably never know.
I imagine different endings—
Some where you stay,
Some where you never came at all.
And then
My thoughts turn to me.
Who am I
When no one is around?
Am I the same person
I am during the day,
Or someone else entirely?
The dark doesn’t answer.
It just lets me think.
And I keep going,
Question after question,
Thought after thought,
Until I don’t know
If I’m figuring myself out
Or just getting lost in it.
But maybe that’s what the night is
A place where nothing is clear,
But everything is honest.
Where I can’t hide
From my own mind.
Where I finally see
All the parts of me
I don’t notice
When the lights are on.
its 9:02pm and my parents ar eon a date teehee to become max poet......okay ima stop.
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