I sit by my window, **** in my hand.
Two drags in,
maybe more. I’ve lost count.
This is the lowest I’ve ever felt.
So I search my memory for something softer,
and I find her.
The girl who sits in church every Sunday.
The one who sings like her voice is a prayer,
like God is actually listening.
I trusted Him with one thing.
Just one.
And somehow, I still ended up being tested,
and I failed.
Or maybe… He failed me.
My cousin sits across from me, laughing like the world hasn’t touched her.
Then she goes quiet.
She comes to sit beside me.
I’m already far away.
“The world is so unfair, right?” she says.
“I hate my life,” I reply.
She nods, like she understands too well.
“I hate Mom and Dad,” she whispers.
I look at her.
“I hate Dad the most. But… I hate Mom too.”
It sounds ugly out loud.
But also true.
“I hate her as much as I love her,” she says.
“Same,” I answer.
And we laugh,
because somehow, it’s ridiculous and real at the same time.
Dad… that’s a different story.
But then I tell her,
“One day, we’ll be mothers too.”
Maybe then we’ll understand
what broke them
before they ever broke us.
Mar 27
Mar 27, 2026 at 8:13 PM UTC
I sit by my window, **** in my hand.
Two drags in,
maybe more. I’ve lost count.
This is the lowest I’ve ever felt.
So I search my memory for something softer,
and I find her.
The girl who sits in church every Sunday.
The one who sings like her voice is a prayer,
like God is actually listening.
I trusted Him with one thing.
Just one.
And somehow, I still ended up being tested,
and I failed.
Or maybe… He failed me.
My cousin sits across from me, laughing like the world hasn’t touched her.
Then she goes quiet.
She comes to sit beside me.
I’m already far away.
“The world is so unfair, right?” she says.
“I hate my life,” I reply.
She nods, like she understands too well.
“I hate Mom and Dad,” she whispers.
I look at her.
“I hate Dad the most. But… I hate Mom too.”
It sounds ugly out loud.
But also true.
“I hate her as much as I love her,” she says.
“Same,” I answer.
And we laugh,
because somehow, it’s ridiculous and real at the same time.
Dad… that’s a different story.
But then I tell her,
“One day, we’ll be mothers too.”
Maybe then we’ll understand
what broke them
before they ever broke us.
I hate My life right now