The days don’t rise or fall.
They sit.
Heavy.
Like air that’s forgotten how to move.
I wake already late to myself,
bones filled with ideas of staying still.
The mirror offers a version of me
that looks completed,
as if nothing more is required
and nothing less would be noticed.
Time keeps going without resistance.
Meals happen because they must.
Words leave my mouth on schedule,
measured, appropriate,
never enough to trouble anyone
with the weight behind them.
There is a dull arithmetic to being alive,
what I take up,
what I return,
how easily the sum would reach zero
without causing imbalance.
Even sadness feels inefficient,
a low hum instead of a cry.
I don’t want to disappear loudly.
I just want to reduce myself
until the world doesn’t have to adjust.
Somewhere between breath and thought
the idea settles:
that I am superfluous,
an extra margin left wide
after the text is finished.
So I remain small.
I pass through rooms carefully.
Not hoping to be missed,
only hoping that staying
doesn’t count as taking too much.
Jan 18
Jan 18, 2026 at 3:46 AM UTC
The days don’t rise or fall.
They sit.
Heavy.
Like air that’s forgotten how to move.
I wake already late to myself,
bones filled with ideas of staying still.
The mirror offers a version of me
that looks completed,
as if nothing more is required
and nothing less would be noticed.
Time keeps going without resistance.
Meals happen because they must.
Words leave my mouth on schedule,
measured, appropriate,
never enough to trouble anyone
with the weight behind them.
There is a dull arithmetic to being alive,
what I take up,
what I return,
how easily the sum would reach zero
without causing imbalance.
Even sadness feels inefficient,
a low hum instead of a cry.
I don’t want to disappear loudly.
I just want to reduce myself
until the world doesn’t have to adjust.
Somewhere between breath and thought
the idea settles:
that I am superfluous,
an extra margin left wide
after the text is finished.
So I remain small.
I pass through rooms carefully.
Not hoping to be missed,
only hoping that staying
doesn’t count as taking too much.
18:45pm / Feeling invisible lately
