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To My First Heartbreak.

I don't like your words spitting fire at my name

Pretending like I don't know the curses on your tongue

Every blood stained status' about being heartbroken

I'm not stupid, no, that's you

 

It's been three years and i've moved on

Past all the moonlight walks and candlelight dinners

To a better place in my life where you don't exist

Until recently you've started to persist

 

You didn't haunt my dreams anymore

I could look at a picture of us without crying

My parents trusted me to leave the house without

Threatening to run away to you

 

Seeing your name on the screen

Seems just a little bit surreal as I respond

"Hey!" to your excited hello

Not sure with you, quite where this is going to go

 

Because you like mind games and figuring people out

You went from Pre-Med to pyschology

I should've guessed you'd make that turn-about

Each word from you is carefully crafted, now that I can tell

 

I've gotten smarter since we've last talked

Been put through a little more by a few more people

Testing my limits and breaking my fears

I'm not the same little girl you knew my freshman year

 

Sure I still have the same blue eyes that shine when I cry

And the same broken heart that tore to pieces when you left

The same false confidence that takes people for a ride

Same snarky comments that tend to be so snide

 

But i've evolved and i've grown up

As obviously as you haven't

With your fifty-cent words and smart alek comments

Still the same as they were when you left

 

Now I can see through your facade

Predict every move you'll make because I've made them

I'm more expierenced  now then ever before

You weren't expecting a lot but you're going to get much more

 

Before you get stuck in this plot of revenge

I suggest you take the easy way out

Go to your friends list and click remove

Forget my name existed, like you seemed to before

 

Damaged people are the most dangerous

Because they know how to survive

Through the pain and the cold and the heartache

That others have never experienced

 

I'm dangerous to you, and the history you remind me of

I put it in my past, forgot and expected that to last

I am better off without you, that's obvious now

That my life doesn't revolve around you, as you made it to somehow

 

I'm never going back to that

The dark and lonely places

That you left me wondering what was happening

Now I know that I did nothing wrong

 

You were the one at fault, you were the one to blame

What is going to come may be childish, or even a bit insane

So here it is, your warning

Welcome to my game.

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Written by
stephanie-carlson
American
Published
May 10, 2011
Lines·Words
56·473
Notes

It alllll started November 25, 2007.

Ha. You're the most pathetic person I've ever met in my life.

A year and a half of memories poured down the drain and you want to turn around and chat message me like nothing ever happened. When sometimes it still feels like yesterday.

I'm over you but that doesn't make me want to talk to you. I don't hate you, but i'm apathetic. I don't want you in my life. So leave.

Or don't.

One thing I can promise you is this time I won't be the one getting hurt.

*******

Permission

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