How does one heal?

ThisisAye Poems

At birth I was forced to face the pain Subjected to the agony of performative affection Fattened up with trauma like an exhibit animal This exhibit is open to all, you can even bring friends However, discretion is to be advised, my life is no show I silently cry with a broad smile and wonder if i'll ever heal How does one heal? What happens if they mock my pain? Is this a safe space or my story will end up on a show? For how long will they keep playing with my affection? How can I move on if my all my foes were once friends? Do they know I'm just like them and not some random animal? Yet if wishes were horses I'd wish to be an animal Maybe then they'd forget about me and let me heal Maybe then I wouldn't have to chase after friends Maybe then I'd be fast enough and evade all this pain Maybe then I wouldn't see through the simulated affection Maybe then all this pain wouldn't even show What Sharon did to me must've been from a TV show She left me to hang like some slaughtered animal Even after I gave her all my affection As my therapist she was supposed to help me heal But I guess a better substitute was additional pain Even after she butchered my all bonds with my friends Good morning class, today's lesson is on friends and why mine were all for show Friendship showed me flames but helped forget the pain My patience was overworked like a circus animal But at least they managed to heal Even though I regret sharing my affection I've searched everywhere for any form of affection At one point I thought I'd found it in my friends I'll relay that story when I heal My desperation had begun to show To some I'd begun to resemble a feral wild animal But at least it made me forget the pain How does one heal from such pain? Do I assume my final form as a rabid animal? Or will I one day wake up, and decide to end this show?