you look like a mirage
as snowflakes cling to your pale skin
and I don't know if I should believe it
until I'm in your arms.
you've gotten taller
and your red mane is unrulier than ever
but your lips still taste of cigarettes and mints.
you smile your familiar smile
that seems to tug my lips along with it
and your childish laugh
erupts from your throat
as if nothing's changed.
the scenery is frozen and white
and my neighbor's christmas lights
shine brightly in the background
as a reminder of the holiday.
you joke about stealing
the candy cane ornaments across the street
and you grab my hands
with a familiar roughness
and though your fingers are the same
the spark that once
set me on fire
is gone.
my stomach feels as cold
as the snow that continues to coat us
and I look to you with bewildered eyes.
Merry Christmas,
I don't love you anymore.