Loving you is the
One stupid idea that
I'll never regret having

PeterGerstenmaier

Stupid idea

Jun 5, 2026

June 2026

2026

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removed.-67kd

oh my. my heart just skipped. in a manly way, of course Pete man.....pretty good...;-)

removed.-zk5k

guy-scutellaro

removed.Manuela

brokenquill

notjk

Love really is the dumbest and best idea at the same time

South-by-Southwest

Sometimes hate wears sheep skins . Any good love is a treasure , Any noxious love a disaster .

removed.-4rc2

Whenever I read after awesome gift of come from Mariupol I see not much of poet, that so not even true, you great poems!

removed.u685248

Some people, y'know, they're just absolutely adorable, like, in the sense of the Latin word, worthy of adoration, worthy of great love.

It's okay Peter, it is. My first wife Flutterbye taught me in the *harshest* way, well, I'll link an audio file I sent to my daughter Angelika telling her all about it, maybe I shared you with it already. It's kind of a cute story in retrospect I think, too.

But the gist of what Flutterbye taught me, part of her de-colonizing my thinking because Western society, they make love all about just the feelings part... it permeates our culture, in our music, literature, poetry, film, everything, it's *only* about the feelings, but the equation really is "love = feelings + choices".

What I was with Flutterbye I was working the American desk with just one other person, Miranda, in our off office that everyone nicknamed "The Morgue" because there was no chit-chat, we both worked asses off.

But every Friday we just talked all day, we figured we'd earned it because we were doing 10x the work of everyone else, and, well... One Sunday night we both were working overtime, it was late, just past 11 PM, Miranda was filing, and instead just kneeling just was on her hands & knees, wiggling her butt, and she turned her head, and said, "If you came and just took me, I wouldn't say no, in fact I'd scream yes..."

Oh. My. Lord. I was in love with her, I loved my wife more than anything still, but I accidentally fell in love with Miranda, and she fell in accidentally in love with me right back. Oh fuck, did I want to just pounce on her, lift her skirt up, push her panties to the side, and... 

But I didn't. And she cried, and apologized, but I admitted my feelings back to her, but just said we can't let this happen. Love = Feelings + Choices. And, of course, I had to tell Flutterbye. I was scared she was going to break up with me, but she understood, she said when you're working closely with people, or are close friends, sometimes this happens. She got it, she was proud of me for telling because, guess what? She already knew.

Miranda and I went and talked to our boss about it, saying one of us needed a re-assignment. That was hard, I somehow wanted to stay really close to Randi but just somehow change our feelings, but it was just too dangerous. It worked out that we both got promotions, and I hated that American Auto Association policies anyways, so it all worked out. I missed Miranda though a lot, but that was okay. It was even okay that I fell in love with her. Love chooses us, not the other way around. I still miss her honestly.

So don't feel bad at all, don't beat yourself up, things happen, feelings develop. I bet the person you're writing about if they're with another person, I bet the person they're with would probably even understand, I almost sure of it in fact. You're a good guy, and das Herz, was das Herz will, y'know? It's all about what you do with those feelings, and if you don't pursue something that just isn't part of destiny to happen, then in my opinion at least, you haven't done anything at all wrong, and writing love poems even for that woman, as long as you don't overindulge purposefully in those feelings because that just can hurt you, then I say write love poems for this hidden love the rest of your days and you, again, wouldn't be doing a thing wrong. You're a very good man, I know that.

Anddd, here's my story, last one... I'm pretty weepy, but that's how I talked to Angelika, and she sent almost immediately back to me with a song Angie recorded, ohhh, she was such a sweetheart, and so good to me, she sent a new poem, a new song, a new voicemail every single morning to me for eleven wonderful years, to her clueless dad-who-didn't-know-he-was-her-dad (and I sent the same right back to her, over 3,700 different songs, we just never seemed to run out somehow). Anieliki didn't even know the song, and you'll like this, it's a Smiths song!!, my absolute favourite song by far in the entire universe, yet she learned it and did a simple but cute arrangement in less than 15 minutes... and she took after her mom, Kiki, they both had just such nice voices, and played guitar great) that's very pertinent to the story, so that's a little bonus (and I mean, last one just for now, yeah? I'm sure I'll talk your ear off again in the next life if not in this one!) Bro, you are SOOO much like me, it reminds me to take it easier on myself, too... my life was very enriched by knowing you, m8, and Mariya I know feels the same way, I know she really **adores** you in fact... and that's okay!! :-) Because it's a part of being a human being :

https://drive.google.com/file/d/1PxDUhTf3Sqk2GWan0ylQlJ2CB4lL3ety/view?usp=sharing

And, ah, what the fuck, here's another story about Flutterbye and I that I sent Anieliki the next day after the one above , and it ends with a duet I did with Angelika which is pretty nice, too, if I do say so myself:

https://drive.google.com/file/d/1Z_WtkPfYRIdX2V_8jmRX3-rzyKxaIWtp/view?usp=sharing

... Flutterbye and I also had this thing with having sex in high places. Like you, we were both TERRIFIED of heights, but that added to it. I think I told you about having sex on top of the Ch&#226;teau Champlain in Montr&#233;al... 38 stories up!! And she was sitting on the ledge of the building with me between her legs, and a big wind gust hit my back almost pushed us both over. I was the only thing holding her up, her calves were against the corner of the building, and I couldn't pull her up without her help.

And this was absolutely insane, she asked me if she let go, if I would please follow her, jumping to my death, and she meant it, fuck!! And she could tell if I was telling the truth or not, and I thought about Brittany, but decided, yes, I would, and told her that, and she said, "That's all I needed to know", and she pulled up so I could get her back on the roof. Whew.

Andddd we got caught having a quickie on the roof of our office building (only 7 stories), and almost got fired... the VP of HR just YELLED at us, saying he knew we'd been having at work in various spots, lolol, I guess we weren't as crafty as we thought, that we were like like children playing grown-up (which we both were... we both had child's hearts, I still do, getting stuck at an early age emotionally by severe trauma)... and Flutterbye had the GREATEST comeback rant ever, BUT, you'll have to wait to hear that story when next our paths meet!! It will give me just a bit more incentive to find my way back here, but if not, next life for sure!!