I wake up every morning
with a smile stitched tight to my face,
like it belongs there
like it isn’t just a mask
I learned to wear just to survive the day.
Nobody ever notices
how heavy it sits on my cheeks,
how it cracks at the edges
when silence gets loud
and my thoughts start to speak.
They say, “talk it out, let it go, you’ll heal,
but who do I call at 2 am
when the pain doesn’t feel real
when my chest caves in
and I can’t even kneel?
Sleepless nights turn into battles I fight alone,
staring at ceilings that feel like stone,
praying for peace
but hearing no tone
just echoes reminding me
I’m on my own.
And yeah…
I’ve had those thoughts I don’t say out loud,
the kind that creeps in
when life feels too proud
whispers telling me
“Just give up now,”
but somehow, I’m still here,
still standing somehow.
Cause in my bloodline,
being weak isn’t allowed,
you can cry
but don’t cry too loud.
Don’t cry too long,
don’t let it show,
cause weakness is where
the devil will go.
So, I cry in the dark
where nobody sees me,
fall to my knees
and beg for some peace.
Then morning comes in
like it doesn’t know my pain,
and I rise up again
like I’m perfectly sane.
But God…
I gotta be honest, I’m angry with You,
cause You keep taking the ones
that I needed to get through.
You tell me have faith,
You say, “I got a plan,”
but it’s hard to believe
when I don’t understand.
How much more loss
am I meant to take?
How many nights
am I supposed to break?
How do I trust You
while my heart keeps ache
while I’m barely holding
every breath that I make.
They say it gets better,
just give it some time,
but time feels cruel
when grief is your mind.
When every memory
cuts like a knife,
and healing feels like
the longest fight of your life.
Still…
there’s a piece of me
that refuses to fold,
a flicker of faith
I can’t seem to let go of.
Even when I’m tired,
even when I’m numb,
something inside whispers,
“you’re not done.”
So, I stand
not because I’m strong,
but because giving up
would prove them wrong.
And maybe faith
isn’t always bright…
maybe it’s choosing to live
through another night.
Apr 11
Apr 11, 2026 at 12:43 AM UTC
I wake up every morning
with a smile stitched tight to my face,
like it belongs there
like it isn’t just a mask
I learned to wear just to survive the day.
Nobody ever notices
how heavy it sits on my cheeks,
how it cracks at the edges
when silence gets loud
and my thoughts start to speak.
They say, “talk it out, let it go, you’ll heal,
but who do I call at 2 am
when the pain doesn’t feel real
when my chest caves in
and I can’t even kneel?
Sleepless nights turn into battles I fight alone,
staring at ceilings that feel like stone,
praying for peace
but hearing no tone
just echoes reminding me
I’m on my own.
And yeah…
I’ve had those thoughts I don’t say out loud,
the kind that creeps in
when life feels too proud
whispers telling me
“Just give up now,”
but somehow, I’m still here,
still standing somehow.
Cause in my bloodline,
being weak isn’t allowed,
you can cry
but don’t cry too loud.
Don’t cry too long,
don’t let it show,
cause weakness is where
the devil will go.
So, I cry in the dark
where nobody sees me,
fall to my knees
and beg for some peace.
Then morning comes in
like it doesn’t know my pain,
and I rise up again
like I’m perfectly sane.
But God…
I gotta be honest, I’m angry with You,
cause You keep taking the ones
that I needed to get through.
You tell me have faith,
You say, “I got a plan,”
but it’s hard to believe
when I don’t understand.
How much more loss
am I meant to take?
How many nights
am I supposed to break?
How do I trust You
while my heart keeps ache
while I’m barely holding
every breath that I make.
They say it gets better,
just give it some time,
but time feels cruel
when grief is your mind.
When every memory
cuts like a knife,
and healing feels like
the longest fight of your life.
Still…
there’s a piece of me
that refuses to fold,
a flicker of faith
I can’t seem to let go of.
Even when I’m tired,
even when I’m numb,
something inside whispers,
“you’re not done.”
So, I stand
not because I’m strong,
but because giving up
would prove them wrong.
And maybe faith
isn’t always bright…
maybe it’s choosing to live
through another night.
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