**I'm sitting on the edge
of my bed, trembling and**
flash [I'm huddled in the
kitchen corner, she's
advancing on me, blocking
every way of escape]
**wishing I could be ok again, wishing
I wasn't damaged beyond**
flash [I'm on the
stairs, crouched over so
she can't reach my
stomach because I'm already
crying hard enough to almost
be throwing up, gagging
around screams]
**any kind of repair that I
can foresee, praying that**
flash [I'm curled on my bed like
a foetus, I ran away until
there was no further
to run and still
she followed me. Hit
my back, it hurts
the least there]
**the terror will pass, and I
won't have to remember**
flash [I'm thinking desperately
around the thumps of
knuckles on flesh and the screams
I can't contain that next time I
will hit back I won't
be frozen in place, wishing
bitterly I wasn't shamelessly
lying to myself]
this.
flash [I can't breathe.]
Jan 14, 2014
Jan 14, 2014 at 3:40 PM UTC
**I'm sitting on the edge
of my bed, trembling and**
flash [I'm huddled in the
kitchen corner, she's
advancing on me, blocking
every way of escape]
**wishing I could be ok again, wishing
I wasn't damaged beyond**
flash [I'm on the
stairs, crouched over so
she can't reach my
stomach because I'm already
crying hard enough to almost
be throwing up, gagging
around screams]
**any kind of repair that I
can foresee, praying that**
flash [I'm curled on my bed like
a foetus, I ran away until
there was no further
to run and still
she followed me. Hit
my back, it hurts
the least there]
**the terror will pass, and I
won't have to remember**
flash [I'm thinking desperately
around the thumps of
knuckles on flesh and the screams
I can't contain that next time I
will hit back I won't
be frozen in place, wishing
bitterly I wasn't shamelessly
lying to myself]
this.
flash [I can't breathe.]
December 14, 2014
panic attack.
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