It’s not the leaving that breaks me,
Not the walking away.
He was never mine to lose,
Never a home to stay.
His hands left pieces on the floor,
But leaving him was light
It isn’t freedom from his shadow
That keeps me up at night.
It’s not returning to my room,
Those four walls cold and bare.
I lived in silence, lived in dark,
Found comfort in despair.
Depression knew my name back then,
Sat with me like a friend
It wasn’t sadness that I feared,
I knew how sorrow bends.
It’s not the dream I buried deep,
The one I prayed would live.
I mourned the sky I could not reach,
The hope I couldn’t give.
It isn’t flight that frightens me,
Nor heights I couldn’t claim
It’s wondering if I can rise
And dare to dream again.
Four years of storms and emptiness,
Of hollow, aching space.
Then God placed sunlight in my arms,
A small and sacred grace.
My sun...
my breath, my living hope,
My reason to begin.
Through him I felt the world again,
Felt colour on my skin.
Now fear returns with gentler steps,
Not heavy like before.
For now I’m learning how to live,
To open every door.
I’m held by love, surrounded warm,
No longer standing numb
Still trembling as I lift my face
To what I’ve yet to become.
I called the quiet safety once,
Believed the void was kind.
I hid from hurt, from every touch,
I shut away my mind.
But healing hums a different song,
A soft, persistent tune
My light is waking up at last,
My spirit reaching bloom.
I’m smiling like myself again,
In ways I thought were gone.
I’m dreaming like the girl I was,
Before the nights grew long.
And though I fear the steps ahead,
I’ll take them, come what may
For courage isn’t loud or bright,
It grows in quiet ways.
So here I stand, unsure, alive,
No longer wishing when
Just knowing this: I’ve come too far,
To ever break again.
And from the ashes of my past,
With trembling breath, I say:
I will rise again.
♡
Nov 27, 2025
Nov 27, 2025 at 12:05 PM UTC
It’s not the leaving that breaks me,
Not the walking away.
He was never mine to lose,
Never a home to stay.
His hands left pieces on the floor,
But leaving him was light
It isn’t freedom from his shadow
That keeps me up at night.
It’s not returning to my room,
Those four walls cold and bare.
I lived in silence, lived in dark,
Found comfort in despair.
Depression knew my name back then,
Sat with me like a friend
It wasn’t sadness that I feared,
I knew how sorrow bends.
It’s not the dream I buried deep,
The one I prayed would live.
I mourned the sky I could not reach,
The hope I couldn’t give.
It isn’t flight that frightens me,
Nor heights I couldn’t claim
It’s wondering if I can rise
And dare to dream again.
Four years of storms and emptiness,
Of hollow, aching space.
Then God placed sunlight in my arms,
A small and sacred grace.
My sun...
my breath, my living hope,
My reason to begin.
Through him I felt the world again,
Felt colour on my skin.
Now fear returns with gentler steps,
Not heavy like before.
For now I’m learning how to live,
To open every door.
I’m held by love, surrounded warm,
No longer standing numb
Still trembling as I lift my face
To what I’ve yet to become.
I called the quiet safety once,
Believed the void was kind.
I hid from hurt, from every touch,
I shut away my mind.
But healing hums a different song,
A soft, persistent tune
My light is waking up at last,
My spirit reaching bloom.
I’m smiling like myself again,
In ways I thought were gone.
I’m dreaming like the girl I was,
Before the nights grew long.
And though I fear the steps ahead,
I’ll take them, come what may
For courage isn’t loud or bright,
It grows in quiet ways.
So here I stand, unsure, alive,
No longer wishing when
Just knowing this: I’ve come too far,
To ever break again.
And from the ashes of my past,
With trembling breath, I say:
I will rise again.
♡