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I stole a sheet from the test papers For my hands are filled Already with ink from exhausted pens Well, that is all I planned to say But I must keep on this ramble Only these words feel real Only they keep me warm Sun dies gently behind the clouds And gossips scatter around Girls in blacks And yellows and reds Scarves dyed in greens, browns And blues Intricate galaxies stitched On their swaying tunics I do not dissolve here In these beautiful tides and their slow dance Not with a carnage stuck in my chest Not with the bleached dawns Rising and rising restless And we’re all fighting, yes, we all are Why then Is this field so lonely? Not a mourning, not a deafening blast Is heard A barricade of silence I wrap around us Us, I, The boy who constantly yells for freedom And the girl Who will let him not Then again, us I, the two children inside One weaves a step out of his fingers Other hops on Peeps out of my eyes— “Do they want me yet?” “No” “You, then?” “No” What then is wanted, They wonder But do not say— It is an ungrateful inquiry All luxuries they have known in this house Crowns and swords, dresses, blooms None kept from either Why must Then they want out? Then the guys pass by The scarce colours that fill up their clothes And hoarse laughs erupting Their uncovered heads And princely gaits I belong there, No more than here. Not in flowers, not in bees Do I blend Not in capes, nor veils No weapon I wish to hold, Not an anklet studded with gold In the grass, I cross my legs Far from beetles Far from wasps— I watch red ants crawl up my shoes Crush them, I do, Casually beneath my fingers One, then, three and more Until dusk is silenced by the night Not a beetle approaches Near I wear the shimmering skin of a wasp Not a wasp calls I am skin only Later, The black sky comes And takes us far. The girl climbs up my spine And pulls the boy along They zip me open And crawl out Sit next to me, and they sing a song I am the castle Who could not help them live I am the rusty duel They were born to fight Yet love me still, they do And the crescent— It is a woman nor a man A crescent it is, a crescent, stays And when darkness comes And eats the world We join our hands And build a softer one But what good— It is too dark to write now. The lights flicker like stars with smoke sickened They pound in my head, pound and pound. I hope the ramble Was worth the theft
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Jul 5, 2021
Jul 5, 2021 at 2:17 AM UTC
Carnage
I stole a sheet from the test papers For my hands are filled Already with ink from exhausted pens Well, that is all I planned to say But I must keep on this ramble Only these words feel real Only they keep me warm Sun dies gently behind the clouds And gossips scatter around Girls in blacks And yellows and reds Scarves dyed in greens, browns And blues Intricate galaxies stitched On their swaying tunics I do not dissolve here In these beautiful tides and their slow dance Not with a carnage stuck in my chest Not with the bleached dawns Rising and rising restless And we’re all fighting, yes, we all are Why then Is this field so lonely? Not a mourning, not a deafening blast Is heard A barricade of silence I wrap around us Us, I, The boy who constantly yells for freedom And the girl Who will let him not Then again, us I, the two children inside One weaves a step out of his fingers Other hops on Peeps out of my eyes— “Do they want me yet?” “No” “You, then?” “No” What then is wanted, They wonder But do not say— It is an ungrateful inquiry All luxuries they have known in this house Crowns and swords, dresses, blooms None kept from either Why must Then they want out? Then the guys pass by The scarce colours that fill up their clothes And hoarse laughs erupting Their uncovered heads And princely gaits I belong there, No more than here. Not in flowers, not in bees Do I blend Not in capes, nor veils No weapon I wish to hold, Not an anklet studded with gold In the grass, I cross my legs Far from beetles Far from wasps— I watch red ants crawl up my shoes Crush them, I do, Casually beneath my fingers One, then, three and more Until dusk is silenced by the night Not a beetle approaches Near I wear the shimmering skin of a wasp Not a wasp calls I am skin only Later, The black sky comes And takes us far. The girl climbs up my spine And pulls the boy along They zip me open And crawl out Sit next to me, and they sing a song I am the castle Who could not help them live I am the rusty duel They were born to fight Yet love me still, they do And the crescent— It is a woman nor a man A crescent it is, a crescent, stays And when darkness comes And eats the world We join our hands And build a softer one But what good— It is too dark to write now. The lights flicker like stars with smoke sickened They pound in my head, pound and pound. I hope the ramble Was worth the theft
03/07/2021
#carnage
Ayesha
Written by
Ayesha
21/F/Pakistan
Jul 5, 2021
Jul 5, 2021 at 2:17 AM UTC
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