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The first time we ever spoke, I thought you were annoying. I asked you what your favourite colour was. You said "White, because when thinking in terms of the light spectrum, it is the combination of all the colours. When you look at a white light, you are actually looking at colours that human eyes can't even process. You are looking right at them, and you can't see them, but they are still there." I thought that was the most beautiful thing I had ever heard. - - - *I was sent to a white palace when I found out what happened to you. I searched for you in every windowless room.* - - - Our romance was a flash flood in the middle of a drought, quenching my parched soil, and then drowning all forms of life for miles around, but it was over far too soon and left me ravaged, yet thirsty for more. - - - I took my new husband-to-be to the place where you and I met. He didn't leave my side the entire time and we listened to the music echoing around the mountains while he said beautiful things that I would have died to hear you say and he kissed me in front of everyone, just like I used to dream that you would, but you never did. I realize now that you weren't my soul mate, but believe me when I say that I did love you. - - - I still don't know what to think when I look back on it. My open and paranoid mind can never draw definite conclusions as to what truly happened. Reality is subjective. All I know is that this world is much more quiet than it used to be without your constant chatter that I thought was annoying when we first met, and the only closure I will ever get is accepting that part of who I once was died with you, but an even larger part of who you were lives on within me. - - - My favourite colour is white now. I have loved you.
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Aug 8, 2016
Aug 8, 2016 at 12:33 AM UTC
My Favourite Colour
The first time we ever spoke, I thought you were annoying. I asked you what your favourite colour was. You said "White, because when thinking in terms of the light spectrum, it is the combination of all the colours. When you look at a white light, you are actually looking at colours that human eyes can't even process. You are looking right at them, and you can't see them, but they are still there." I thought that was the most beautiful thing I had ever heard. - - - *I was sent to a white palace when I found out what happened to you. I searched for you in every windowless room.* - - - Our romance was a flash flood in the middle of a drought, quenching my parched soil, and then drowning all forms of life for miles around, but it was over far too soon and left me ravaged, yet thirsty for more. - - - I took my new husband-to-be to the place where you and I met. He didn't leave my side the entire time and we listened to the music echoing around the mountains while he said beautiful things that I would have died to hear you say and he kissed me in front of everyone, just like I used to dream that you would, but you never did. I realize now that you weren't my soul mate, but believe me when I say that I did love you. - - - I still don't know what to think when I look back on it. My open and paranoid mind can never draw definite conclusions as to what truly happened. Reality is subjective. All I know is that this world is much more quiet than it used to be without your constant chatter that I thought was annoying when we first met, and the only closure I will ever get is accepting that part of who I once was died with you, but an even larger part of who you were lives on within me. - - - My favourite colour is white now. I have loved you.
Some unedited thoughts on my first love.
#love#first#life#illness#white#raw#light#surviving#colours
emily-von-shultz
Written by
emily-von-shultz
German
Aug 8, 2016
Aug 8, 2016 at 12:33 AM UTC
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