I have grown afraid
of awareness itself—
of awakening into a moment
where I cannot speak with you,
of being alone without the ability
to reach you
whenever fear grips me.
I will go on chasing dopamine,
feeding it,
raising it higher,
just to escape.
And so,
I lose consciousness every day,
because
whenever I return to awareness,
I remember you,
and I break into relentless tears.
There is no savior from
the desire to end it all,
and no savior from the terror
of the end itself.
Aug 18, 2025
Aug 18, 2025 at 11:21 AM UTC
I have grown afraid
of awareness itself—
of awakening into a moment
where I cannot speak with you,
of being alone without the ability
to reach you
whenever fear grips me.
I will go on chasing dopamine,
feeding it,
raising it higher,
just to escape.
And so,
I lose consciousness every day,
because
whenever I return to awareness,
I remember you,
and I break into relentless tears.
There is no savior from
the desire to end it all,
and no savior from the terror
of the end itself.
I miss you Daniel
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