i can never find my drink
it's not so much that i forget
it's more so that i'm never around long enough to circle back twice
but that's alright
i can always find someone's
i talk to myself
**** near constantly
i'd like to think it's not to hear myself speak
but to let myself think
the only time i get the chance
to say the things i've always longed to
is when i'm the only one around to listen
i love to listen
i also love to eavesdrop
just to see how others talk
when they're expecting only to be heard
i still don't believe in hell
not as a destination
hell is some place within me
i dredge through it daily
and not a soul can save me
guess that's why i've never feared god
no
not god
but **** near everyone else
i've got this ******* anxiety
just welling within me
and what's worse
is that no one can see my crazy
no
just me
but it pecks at my brain
and howls at the moon
and consumes my thoughts whole
*i'm afraid of everyone
always*
i'm the most afraid of me
i'm afraid of the things i see in the mirror
i fear for myself
that i'll never really grow up
just more scared
and angry
and bitter
i'm afraid of my heart-rate
climbing higher than your balcony
until it factually breaks
but i somehow know i'll be okay
i feel it more and more each day
because somewhere
in my static-charged skull
and double-time heart
there is at least a little balance
see
i've got something that most people don't
i really only know one thing:
if i ran into the six-year-old version of me
if we passed as strangers on the street
she'd smile
and think that she'd like to grow up to be just like me
Dec 19, 2013
Dec 19, 2013 at 9:27 PM UTC
i can never find my drink
it's not so much that i forget
it's more so that i'm never around long enough to circle back twice
but that's alright
i can always find someone's
i talk to myself
**** near constantly
i'd like to think it's not to hear myself speak
but to let myself think
the only time i get the chance
to say the things i've always longed to
is when i'm the only one around to listen
i love to listen
i also love to eavesdrop
just to see how others talk
when they're expecting only to be heard
i still don't believe in hell
not as a destination
hell is some place within me
i dredge through it daily
and not a soul can save me
guess that's why i've never feared god
no
not god
but **** near everyone else
i've got this ******* anxiety
just welling within me
and what's worse
is that no one can see my crazy
no
just me
but it pecks at my brain
and howls at the moon
and consumes my thoughts whole
*i'm afraid of everyone
always*
i'm the most afraid of me
i'm afraid of the things i see in the mirror
i fear for myself
that i'll never really grow up
just more scared
and angry
and bitter
i'm afraid of my heart-rate
climbing higher than your balcony
until it factually breaks
but i somehow know i'll be okay
i feel it more and more each day
because somewhere
in my static-charged skull
and double-time heart
there is at least a little balance
see
i've got something that most people don't
i really only know one thing:
if i ran into the six-year-old version of me
if we passed as strangers on the street
she'd smile
and think that she'd like to grow up to be just like me
