What is wrong with me?

sheneedsittosurvive Poems

I'm sorry I'm never okay Sometimes I try but it's just too much Im bipolar in my spite Leaning in favor of the usual heavy nights I don't want to be this way Drowning in self hate and craving pity I don't know who would want this I'm ashamed of everything I want I'm ashamed of who I am Sometimes I marvel at how thick the mask I put up is I even trick myself into getting close to self love Of course then I breakdown and realize how horrible I am It can only last for so long I never think of my self as suicidal Because I couldn't actually commit it I can't commit to anything But I constantly think how amazing it would be to just be done with it all I want to be done with everything I crave a day when it's easy to breathe and I'm not terrified of everything and everyone When someone asks what's wrong with me I never really know how to respond I do now "I am terrified of myself"