I don’t know why I’m writing this.
You won’t read it.
Maybe I just need to get it out before it eats me alive.
I can’t stop wanting you.
It’s pathetic, I know.
It’s been months.
Time stopped meaning anything when you left.
I still dream about you.
Sometimes I wake up and for a split second,
I forget that you’re gone.
I reach across the bed like an idiot,
and all I find is cold sheets and my own emptiness.
Why won’t you leave me?
Or maybe — why won’t you come back?
I don’t even know which one I want more anymore.
I replay everything.
Every message. Every glance. Every tiny moment.
Looking for the place where I could’ve made you stay.
But there’s nothing. Just the same ending, over and over.
You, gone. Me, still here.
I would ruin myself for you again.
I would break every promise I made to myself.
I would throw away every piece of healing just to feel you one more time.
God, I hate this.
I hate that I love you this much.
I hate that I need you like air I can’t breathe.
I don’t know how to stop.
I don’t even know if I want to.
If you came back tomorrow,
I would open the door.
No questions. No hesitation.
I’d let you in.
I’d let you wreck me all over again.
Jun 1, 2025
Jun 1, 2025 at 11:51 AM UTC
I don’t know why I’m writing this.
You won’t read it.
Maybe I just need to get it out before it eats me alive.
I can’t stop wanting you.
It’s pathetic, I know.
It’s been months.
Time stopped meaning anything when you left.
I still dream about you.
Sometimes I wake up and for a split second,
I forget that you’re gone.
I reach across the bed like an idiot,
and all I find is cold sheets and my own emptiness.
Why won’t you leave me?
Or maybe — why won’t you come back?
I don’t even know which one I want more anymore.
I replay everything.
Every message. Every glance. Every tiny moment.
Looking for the place where I could’ve made you stay.
But there’s nothing. Just the same ending, over and over.
You, gone. Me, still here.
I would ruin myself for you again.
I would break every promise I made to myself.
I would throw away every piece of healing just to feel you one more time.
God, I hate this.
I hate that I love you this much.
I hate that I need you like air I can’t breathe.
I don’t know how to stop.
I don’t even know if I want to.
If you came back tomorrow,
I would open the door.
No questions. No hesitation.
I’d let you in.
I’d let you wreck me all over again.
About the paralysis of heartbreak, when moving on feels impossible and love becomes both a need and a curse.
