Given the greenlight, to study of your word
Yet I avoid it vehemently, pretend it didn't occur
I fear who I'd become, when I learnt the full context
And that I'd have to change for the better, sin to have no concept
It was comfortable blaming circumstance, for rotting away
But I knew you would find me eventually one day
Sin is fun surely, but grace is the greatest judgment
An unfair love that cares and needs no substance
The father only elects those he sees light in
And hide it all we want, eventually he has to come in
He never forces the door open, nor does he call our name
He watches and loves us still, even when we bring him to shame
How selfish I am, to ignore the homeless and save money for snacks
How foolish am I to waste away when many lack your words effect
How desperate i am, to spend late nights avoiding your calling
How ironic it must be, that you waited, even while I was stalling
Ever the presence you never let up hope
When I forgot how to climb you gave me the rope
Your sheep are starving, they yearn for your word
The very same I fasted off, when I ran away from the herd
Forgive me for my ignorance, may I glorify you with all my might
For all the times of half hearted repentance, when you saw my tears at night
May the lessons instilled in me, be spread like seeds in a field
And may I live to see the fruit of my labour, and my children come to yield
Feb 20
Feb 20, 2026 at 3:55 PM UTC
Given the greenlight, to study of your word
Yet I avoid it vehemently, pretend it didn't occur
I fear who I'd become, when I learnt the full context
And that I'd have to change for the better, sin to have no concept
It was comfortable blaming circumstance, for rotting away
But I knew you would find me eventually one day
Sin is fun surely, but grace is the greatest judgment
An unfair love that cares and needs no substance
The father only elects those he sees light in
And hide it all we want, eventually he has to come in
He never forces the door open, nor does he call our name
He watches and loves us still, even when we bring him to shame
How selfish I am, to ignore the homeless and save money for snacks
How foolish am I to waste away when many lack your words effect
How desperate i am, to spend late nights avoiding your calling
How ironic it must be, that you waited, even while I was stalling
Ever the presence you never let up hope
When I forgot how to climb you gave me the rope
Your sheep are starving, they yearn for your word
The very same I fasted off, when I ran away from the herd
Forgive me for my ignorance, may I glorify you with all my might
For all the times of half hearted repentance, when you saw my tears at night
May the lessons instilled in me, be spread like seeds in a field
And may I live to see the fruit of my labour, and my children come to yield
After backsliding for the whole month. I was given the opportunity to study biblical lore. While I don't see myself as anything but a spreader of the gospel, I'm leaning to become this for him if that's what his plan entails. Your prayers would be much appreciated regardless how short. Thank you for reading.
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