I believed it was up to me to triumph
To swallow those knives of despair and hopelessness that I had been fed
I chased rainbows for a while
Taking shelter in rose-colored glasses
Holding fast to the belief that the world needed no changing
That, if I was just better, stronger, kinder
I too could be beautiful
Like everything else I saw
The rainbows faded; a storm rumbled ominously in
I took shelter in anger
Clinging to the view that the world was evil and cruel
That if it was just warmer, more patient, more peaceful
I too could be content
Like all of the liars I spoke to
The storm died, and I watched the darkness spill like ink
I let it consume me, spreading through my soul in blackout tendrils
Fighting for the concept that the world was stagnant, unaffected by humanity's whims
That if I was just colder, crueler, tougher
I too could survive
Like all of the villains who got away
Every hour I cried out to You, seeking not your help but an assurance that it was real
That everything I endured would have a happy ending, somehow
Every hour You heard me, reaching out with open arms and waiting patiently for my sight to come back
I renounced You, though I claimed to still be in Your light
I was a creature of darkness, lost to hate and desperation
The devil caressed my back, telling me to shelter in wickedness
I grew hungrier and hungrier the more I consumed
In my desperation to be real I forgot the reason that I was
I couldn't pull myself out of the valley of death, so I gave up trying
But You wouldn't let Your child rot
Wrapped in blankets of light I ascended, drinking in the warmth of salvation
It tasted like childhood, like a hope I never thought I'd get back
You followed me through all of my seasons
And when I believed myself to be irredeemable, you told me a secret:
"It isn't your job to triumph, My child
Follow Me, you belong here, in the Light."
Apr 13
Apr 13, 2026 at 12:37 PM UTC
I believed it was up to me to triumph
To swallow those knives of despair and hopelessness that I had been fed
I chased rainbows for a while
Taking shelter in rose-colored glasses
Holding fast to the belief that the world needed no changing
That, if I was just better, stronger, kinder
I too could be beautiful
Like everything else I saw
The rainbows faded; a storm rumbled ominously in
I took shelter in anger
Clinging to the view that the world was evil and cruel
That if it was just warmer, more patient, more peaceful
I too could be content
Like all of the liars I spoke to
The storm died, and I watched the darkness spill like ink
I let it consume me, spreading through my soul in blackout tendrils
Fighting for the concept that the world was stagnant, unaffected by humanity's whims
That if I was just colder, crueler, tougher
I too could survive
Like all of the villains who got away
Every hour I cried out to You, seeking not your help but an assurance that it was real
That everything I endured would have a happy ending, somehow
Every hour You heard me, reaching out with open arms and waiting patiently for my sight to come back
I renounced You, though I claimed to still be in Your light
I was a creature of darkness, lost to hate and desperation
The devil caressed my back, telling me to shelter in wickedness
I grew hungrier and hungrier the more I consumed
In my desperation to be real I forgot the reason that I was
I couldn't pull myself out of the valley of death, so I gave up trying
But You wouldn't let Your child rot
Wrapped in blankets of light I ascended, drinking in the warmth of salvation
It tasted like childhood, like a hope I never thought I'd get back
You followed me through all of my seasons
And when I believed myself to be irredeemable, you told me a secret:
"It isn't your job to triumph, My child
Follow Me, you belong here, in the Light."
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