I haven’t written to you in a while because my pen ran out of ink. It’s my favorite pen because it’s your favorite color. And I was scared if I didn’t use it, you might not know who it was from.
And when I was in the shower this morning the water was cold and it made me think of the time we wanted to stay up all night so I took twelve cold showers.
It’s hard to have your heart break every day.
It’s funny because seeing your face makes my heart break but I smile.
Maybe I don’t want you to know.
You hated it when I cried, I knew it annoyed you because you got those thick lines on your forehead that didn’t go away for hours. You tried to laugh but it came out like a choking sound. Like my tears made you gag.
I try to be strong like you and copy the way you walk and talk because part of me believes I can be you. Because being you was all I ever wanted. It was so much better then me.
I have to buy a new lamp today because I turned mine on last night and it caught on fire. I don’t know how that happened all I know is that my lamp is broken and I’m eight dollars short.
The trees outside aren’t as green anymore. I can smell rain on my porch. The clouds are gray and my violin’s music is dull. My fingers forgot how to play.
I never wanted to say goodbye but I hope one day I can let you go.