Even the way she texts tells me
she is unbothered by me now.
As though—no. She most definitely
is recanting our sisterhood. By the second.
It’s sad, it really is.
It leaves me with a sour taste
in my mouth, and I understand
why I had a gut feeling about
ignoring her message earlier.
I don’t like this, at all, and
just thinking about it all
gives me butterflies, but
the kind that have been eaten,
their wings all torn and broken
and rusty and decaying.
I hate this, actually.
It’s like bedhead, or having a
badhead. I’ll always believe in
sleeping on big decisions or feelings,
but this leaves me with acid
reflux every second of every day,
especially the morning.
No point in giving yourself
bedhead if it won’t ever go away,
you can just stay awake.
No point in having a badhead
before bed and after bed if
none of it matters, you can
just forget about it.
We haven’t really stayed in touch,
and I sort of knew this would happen.
I want it back, all of it; or do I?
Only my mother could answer that.
But she’s the one who told me
to avoid you in the first place,
after I told her you hated me at first.
I’ll grin and bear it, for a second.
May 20
May 20, 2026 at 4:21 PM UTC
Even the way she texts tells me
she is unbothered by me now.
As though—no. She most definitely
is recanting our sisterhood. By the second.
It’s sad, it really is.
It leaves me with a sour taste
in my mouth, and I understand
why I had a gut feeling about
ignoring her message earlier.
I don’t like this, at all, and
just thinking about it all
gives me butterflies, but
the kind that have been eaten,
their wings all torn and broken
and rusty and decaying.
I hate this, actually.
It’s like bedhead, or having a
badhead. I’ll always believe in
sleeping on big decisions or feelings,
but this leaves me with acid
reflux every second of every day,
especially the morning.
No point in giving yourself
bedhead if it won’t ever go away,
you can just stay awake.
No point in having a badhead
before bed and after bed if
none of it matters, you can
just forget about it.
We haven’t really stayed in touch,
and I sort of knew this would happen.
I want it back, all of it; or do I?
Only my mother could answer that.
But she’s the one who told me
to avoid you in the first place,
after I told her you hated me at first.
I’ll grin and bear it, for a second.
badhead by Blur.
20-05-26
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